Black Market Child Smuggling

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-31

Dream

A roughly 16 year old version of me is working as a courier for the black market. My partner is a girl of about 18, and we work for and old man and drive a black hot rod. After finally making enough money to retire from this dangerous line of work we approach the old man. He offers us one last job and he describes it as delivering two young kids out of a bad situation and removing them to a place where they belong. The old man gives us a small box and direction on a route out of town, possibly to the boarder of a neighboring country. As we drive out of town we are going incredibly fast, and I’m giving rally style pace notes to my partner. At the border there is a volcanic swamp which we have to move through on foot. The swamp is full of knee deep ashy sludge, and pockets of magma can be seen venting to the surface. The magma pockets are glowing spots in the sludge that produce expanding bubbles. We have to cover our eyes when the bubbles burst to protect ourselves from the tiny fragments of lava. After trudging through the swamp we arrive at safety and meet two kids. We are devastated upon realizing that the job is actually to bring these kids back into the town that we were trying to escape from. When we get back to the car our packages exclaim as two helicopters appear, presumably to take them back. My partner and I both pull out sub-machine guns and spray the helicopters with bullets in a nonchalant manner. The smaller chopper crashes into a small shed like building and explodes, while the large troop transport helicopter crashes into a building that resembles an alpine hotel. The body of a soldier is thrown from the wreck, and I shoot it a few times to make sure it stays down. After a brief calm, gunfire begins issuing from the hotel and the soldier on the ground jumps up and runs into the building. The soldiers are wearing body armor that is too thick for the bullets of my sub-machine gun to penetrate so we have to shoot them in the face. A firefight ensues, in which I manage to take a shotgun from one of the soldiers, and my partner and I are able to triumph over a squad of trained soldiers (this part of the dream was fuzzily shown). In what may be a separate dream, I find myself at Shane’s house with him and his brother Jace. We are eating pizza and cheesy bread with two young girls who I take to be the refugees from earlier. I’m making sure that they get plenty to eat. The older girl, I would guess is about 14 years old, stands up and starts telling a story about her cousin. She says that he is always checking her out with the sides of his eyes. She gets right up in front of me and starts singing “Two Eyes, Two Eyes” over and over at me, about how he always had two eyes on her. This makes me extremely uncomfortable. I want to look away, but I think this will be seen as side eying her so I struggle to look directly at her. She is wearing a silk dress, and I admit to myself that she is attractive, but she is too young for me to be comfortable in acknowledging this. The song eventually switches to “Three Eyes, Three Eyes”, implying that an erect penis is now also gazing at her. I’m assuming I fugue out from embarrassment at this point, because next thing I know I’m semi-asleep in a dark room. I hear the door opening slowly and imagine that it is Shane coming in to check on me.

Context Explanations

Shane is my best friend, and his younger brother Jace often joined us in our activities. My first boy-girl party and other such events took place at Shane’s house.

Plot Holes

The soldiers surviving the helicopter crash was a stretch, and body armor doesn’t really work in a way that some bullets are incapable of penetrating it. Also, it would have made much more dramatic sense if the person coming into my bedroom had been the girl, but since my assumptions in dreams are rarely wrong it was probably Shane.

Erection?

No. Two eyes.

Analysis

The whole first part of the dreams seems like a typical fantasy of being a bad boy black market courier who drives around in a hot rod and shoots down helicopters. The emotionally charged part of the dream was when I was being tormented by the girl. This speaks of a few different issues I have in dealing with women. First is that I get uncomfortable when I’m coerced into being attracted to someone. I desire my affections to be determined by more than just physical appearance. The distressing fact is that my body usually fails to live up to this ideal and can easily be won over by an alluring form. The second thing is that barriers to relationships based on age differences seem kind of arbitrary to me. If two people enjoy each other’s company and get pleasure from a relationship, I don’t see what their ages have to do with anything. I understand that an older person can take advantage of the younger in situations like this, but if both are benefiting I don’t think it is always has to be seen as a bad thing.

Auguries

Cheesy bread will bring me nothing but pain.

Country Lobster

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-31

Dream

I’m visiting Dale at his house in the country. We are traveling by boat along the local canal system and he is telling me about his brother and his brother’s wife. He explains that they are very eccentric and then offers me the chance to meets them. I figure why not, and then I am at their house alone. I walk inside but they don’t seem to notice me. They are talking about Dale’s friend who doesn’t have a job, who happens to be me. Gathering wild egg comes into the conversation and they decide to keep everything they find since I can apparently use any extra food. I decide to leave since they are having a conversation about me that is embarrassing, and are also the kind of people who don’t notice a third person standing in the room with them. The instant I move they notice me, and don’t acknowledge that I had just heard their conversation. They offer to take me out to their lobster traps and the practice of catching your own food interests me, so I agree. We drive out, because apparently fish traps are easier to access by land, but the house is best traveled to by boat? To entertain me on the trip the wife is asking me riddles. The riddles are completely unfathomable to me, and I can’t tell if they are actually obscure facts or meant to have some clever answer. The only one I can remember is “What is the deadliest reptile in Los Angelis?”. I can't think of anything to solve the riddles, so I just don't say anything. She isn’t deterred by my silence and just keeps asking new riddles without answering the old ones. As we stop at an old corrugated metal pipe I’m told we’ve arrived at the traps. Seeing a crawdad on the edge of the water clues me in that these aren’t going to be true lobsters. The dream ends as the wife starts hauling in a line that leads to the mouth of the culvert.  

Context Explanations

Dale is a friend of mine from work. I’ve never met his relatives, but I have been in his boat.

Plot Holes

The part where they don’t notice me enter the room only really works with dream logic. I also don't require food charity. 

Erection?

Quizzically Yes

Analysis

The main theme seems to be gathering food from nature. I view the ability to collect your own food as a form of independence, since you wouldn’t be tied to grocery stores anymore. If I didn’t have to buy my food, the desire for an internet connection would be the only thing left keeping me in contact with society. The ability to feed oneself without any outside help is a power that I have a lot of respect for. It looks like I would be willing to eat things like crawdads and fertilized wild bird eggs to accomplish this goal, or at least try to eat them. Pertaining to the house scene, getting ignored while others have a conversation is not an uncommon occurrence for me. I don't usually thrust myself into conversations, and if I don't have anything to add I just keep quiet and think about my own things.

Auguries

Traveling by water brings neglect, while traveling by land brings a bountiful harvest. I should fish from shore more often.

Beach Capture the Flag

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-30

Dream

I’m in high school gym class and we’re trying to decide what game to play. The teacher is completely differing to me on this decision, and is being really obsequious in making sure that I’m happy with what is chosen. I decide on capture the flag, and then the teacher insists that I be one of the team captains. The picking isn’t shown, but I know that I end up with Ryan and Zach on my team. We turn around to find ourselves on a sandy beach and the other team captain (who I don’t recognize) has already set everything up to play. There are two ten foot poles set about 50 yards apart. Each pole has a pennant flag; my team is defending blue, and the other team is red. The objects we are capturing are colored bean bags with streamers attached. As the game starts, Ryan and I sprint to the other team's flag before they can defend it. The game plays similar to ultimate frisbee, so we are not allowed to run with the flags and defense consists of intercepting passes. I grab the red flag and Ryan is ready to receive it down the beach. In my classic skip the cutoff man move, I throw it over Ryan to Zach. My throw is short (I must have improperly judge the drag force of the streamer), but luckily the other team captain was guarding Ryan and Zach is able to retrieve the flag off the ground. We move the flag downfield back to our pole to score, and the rest of our team is able to keep Red from scoring with our flag. Our goalie (who might be A.J.) throws the blue flag into the far back corner of the field, because the beach somehow has a rectangular boundary expressed on it. The dream ends as I puzzle over the procedure for returning the red flag after we score.

Context Explanations

Ryan, Zach, and A.J. are kids I went to high school with. Ryan and A.J. (who was a soccer goalie) were both in my Outdoor Ed. class, which was a P.E. where we played various games outside. My rival captain seemed to be an amalgam of people I know, and the teacher was unrecognizable, which is strange because most of my gym teachers had pretty memorable personalities. I always skip the cutoff man in baseball.

Plot Holes

There isn’t really a good way to return the flag after a score. You can’t stop the game because the other flag is still in play, and forcing the team to run it back doesn’t really make sense. Without physical defense, there is also nothing stopping someone from standing at the pole to grab it as soon as it’s returned. This game is broken.

Erection?

Physically Yes

Analysis

I took a gym class every semester in high school, so a dream about this isn’t surprising. Capture the flag was always one of my favorite games as a kid, and I guess I was trying to create rules that would make sense for a gym class setting (and failed). Other than the fact that I show myself actively captain a winning team (they’re my dreams, so it's only seems natural that I’m the hero), the only analyzable part seems to be how the teacher was referring to me. What this resembles is when the gym teacher I always had in high school would direct math questions to me during class. He followed the school's math competition and would always bring up how well I did in front of the class. He was just a really cool guy like that. We had a good relationship; we used to talk about the benefits of cutting our own hair, once when I bloodied both knees and elbows in a sledding accident he complimented me on spreading the impact to four points of contact, and I would warn everyone not to bet against him performing amazing feats to make us run extra laps because he never failed (he used to sit in the bleachers at half court and swish basketballs one handed). He always tried to raise me up and make me feel good about myself, and that is the reason why I spent one eighth of my high school career in gym and don’t feel bad about it.

Auguries

Blue triumphed over red on the beach. I should wear my blue swim trunks next time I go swimming.

College Classroom Capers

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-28

Dream

I move back to Gillette, and enroll in a college class as a way of getting back into the social scene. I’m only taking one class, but I’m still chaffing under its limitations on my freedom. The current class session consists of the teacher doing a silly dance to the sound of my inner voice mumbling the tune of some half-forgotten song (my brain isn’t really gifted at recreating music). Bridger and his cousin walk in, and we start having a full volume conversation in the back of the class. The teacher kindly requests that we talk in the next room, but I react like he’s being a huge jerk. We go into the next room anyway and continue talking. We discuss what I have been doing since high school and Cody appears to say he heard a rumor that I died, since no one has heard from me since graduation. We head back into the classroom and find it packed with people. The reason for this is that now there is a girl doing a sexy dance to the same music as the teacher. I fail to understand why everyone finds this so entertaining, but I am impressed by the girls ability to dance in a way that resembles the teacher while also being sensual.

Context Explanations

Bridger was an acquaintance of mine in high school. He never had a cousin (at least not that I ever met), but he always used to joke that all the other students that shared his last name where his cousins. I guess my brain was confused by this and inserted a character who was his actual cousin. Cody was another kid from my high school.

Plot Holes

I sure ran into a lot of people from high school in what must have been a community college class about interpretive dance.

Erection?

Chorophiliacly Yes

Analysis

I have never desired to move back to my home town and get into touch with the people I knew in high school. The part about how I’ve had not contact with anyone since graduation is pretty much true. I guess I just want to move on with my life, and leave behind all the childish aspects of those days. I also have a dread of running into people I went to school with doing menial jobs. Going back to college is something I’ve thought about, but not for interpretive dance or anything artsy (I was thinking more along the lines of Physics). My obnoxious behavior in class comes from the fact that I really love living life by my own schedule, but the lucid part of my brain thought I was taking it a little too far. The puzzlement about the sexy dance at the end is about my feeling that the public ogling of women is distasteful and shallow. I always feel confused and left out in these situations, especially when women are fully involved in it.

Auguries

It looks like going back to school wouldn’t be worth my time.

Back Yard Cults

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-28

Dream

We are gathered around a camp fire in my friend’s back yard. Anna B shows up and starts preaching at us to join a brain wash cult. She is very bland and devoid of personality, and makes no convincing arguments for getting brain washed by cultist. When Ashley appears I'm happy to see her and ask if she remembers me, since I haven’t seen her in at least 12 years, but she seems to struggle accessing her memories. Someone comments that I drove from one state over just to be here, but she can only dimly recall who I am. I am crestfallen when she reveals that she is also a member of the cult. Then Alaina arrives and starts preaching in a much more vivacious manner. As a bonus, she also offers to get rid of the brain wash cultists. The only problem is that she is a member of a satanic cult. We reluctantly accept the satanic cult as the better choice, and follow Alaina into the front yard. On arriving at the front of the house we find a large green bonfire. Looking up and down the street, I see many similar fires in front of neighboring houses. The dream ends as I slowly lower Anna into the satanic green fire.

Context Explanations

I went to grade school with Anna B (I use the last initial since there was more than one Anna around at the time) and Ashley in Sheridan, WY. We all lived in roughly the same neighborhood. I did junior high and high school with Alaina in Gillette, WY. She was the closest thing to a friend that I had among all the females of my high school. I’m confident that none of these women have ever been members of a cult.

Plot Holes

Green bonfires in the front yard seem pretty showy for Satanists, but it seemed pretty wide spread so maybe it was just a devil worshiping neighborhood.

Erection?

Horrifyingly Yes

Analysis

This one is pretty grim if taken literally, so I’m going to assume this was all symbolism. I think the opposing cults were exaggerated depictions of how society portrays good and bad moral behavior. To be good, you need to be bland and lifeless, and any kind of fun is seen as evil. When confronted with a choice between the two, I make a rational choice that it is better to be considered evil than to have no individual personality. I can’t really explain why I put Anna into the fire, except that it seemed an appropriately satanic initiation ritual. I think the whole devil worship thing originates from the satanic cab driver in the movie Ghost Dad, which I watched recently (I watched it to better appreciate references in Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, not because I thought it would be a good movie).

Auguries

I’ll be faced with a moral decision, and it looks like I’m going to make the more exciting yet morally worse choice. The green fire speaks of copper, so maybe I’m going to engage in some evil wiring.

The Green Room Gateway

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-27

Dream

The story opens with four friends arriving at a comedy club where one of them is about to perform. They are hanging out in the green room before the show, and they carry on in such a way as to give the audience a picture of all their characters. All this subtle exposition tires them out, so they try to get some rest before the show in the cots that happen to be provided. The tall, slim friend, who is somewhat wry and acerbic but still likeable, disappears under his covers. When the others investigate, they find a time portal concealed under his blanket. Everyone jumps in to rescue their friend, and thus begins a wacky adventure.

Context Explanations

Once again, my subconscious is pitching story ideas to me while I sleep.

Plot Holes

Cots in a green room. Also, a comedian traveling with an entourage of friends probably doesn’t happen very often.

Erection?

For the time travel, yes (it's the greatest plot device ever).

Analysis

I can’t say that I consciously desired the beginning of a story that involved time travel and also an excuse for the characters to have suspiciously comedic banter during crisis situations. Now that I have one (albeit one that doesn’t make complete sense), I guess I won’t complain. It amuses me that my dream didn’t actually come up with character dialog for the scene, but just straight out told me that some conversations should take place that exposes everyone’s personalities. This is probably excusable story writing practices, since it wouldn’t be smart to nail down all your character arcs before you had a full plot worked out. We did get a description of the one to fall into the time portal though, because making bad things happen to the melancholic character makes for the most drama (I’m assuming the characters are based on the four humors, because that is just how I typically write a group of four).

Auguries

Four, the color green, and time. The Denver Broncos have lost four Super Bowls in the past. They will lose the next one. Football fields are green.

Update: My prediction was correct! I can officially predict the future with my dreams.

Summer Camp Showoff

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-27

Dream

I’m at summer camp and some friends and I are messing around on the docks of the idyllic canoe lake. I have my eight foot pole, and am trying to balance on top of it. I stand it up straight on the dock, shimmy to the top, and then try to poise on the end. I keep losing my balance once I get to the top, and fall into the lake. We all think this is hilarious, even after I’ve done it two or three times in a row. Somebody thinks this is worthy of some unscripted humorous amateur film program that is transmitted via radio waves to visual and audio entertainment equipment in citizens homes. I’m annoyed by this suggestion.

Context Explanations

I have an eight foot pole that is technically a wooden closet rod (a 1.5” dowel in other words). It was originally supposed to be six feet long and I was going to use it as my bo staff. The hardware store only had eight foot dowels, and didn’t have any use for the two foot trimmings so they just gave me the full eight feet. I never got around to cutting it down to size (I kind of want to turn it into a big spear, as one of my hobbies is making medieval weapons out of wood). I’ve never shimmied up it, but I did use it as a pole vault once and took all the skin off the front of my big toe. I don’t use it as a pole vault anymore. Also, I’ve never been to summer camp. Sometime I feel guilty because the dreams are short, so I fluff up my posts with a lot of boring personal details.

Plot Holes

If I know anything about summer camps, they are all about being terrorized by murdering psychopaths, learning lessons about self-esteem, or having sexual misadventures. They are not about circus antics. Plus, I’m assuming the setting was in a time period before YouTube.

Erection?

Acrobatically Yes

Analysis

I’m just going to skip the obvious phallic imagery, because this is a classy blog. What I want to talk about is the fact that I was willing to degrade myself to entertain people (I gathered the impression that falling into the water was the whole point, as standing on top of an eight foot pole wouldn’t be all that entertaining after the novelty wore off but someone falling into a lake is always funny), but was put off by the suggestion that it should be filmed. To use this as an excuse to self-analyze (and to use my self-analysis as an excuse to be self-derogatory), this speaks of my dislike of cameras and camcorders. If something is fun, I prefer to just let it happen and cherish the memory that I store in my head. Trying to capture it on film just seems to spoil the moment, and adds a layer of artificiality as everyone assumes a persona and their actions become a performance. I also find still images of myself to be uncanny.

Auguries

I’ve got the number eight, a lake, and the season of summer. Eight happens to be the limit for walleye in my area. Next summer, I will go spearfishing in the lake and take my limit. It is foretold!

Coward’s Hands

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-23

Dream

I’m at a social gathering and I’m talking to Chase. He tells me that he has “coward’s hands”, and now he has to wear gloves all the time. I see he is in fact wearing some leather driving gloves while I'm talking to him. Next, he says that he bought all new clothes because he wants to look nice, and I notice that he is wearing a suit and overcoat. Then he complains that his vision isn’t what it used to be when he was younger. I fail to imagine him wearing glasses (probably because this would involve a face, and my dreams don't do faces). After he has told all this to me I overhear him telling other people about it, and I'm kind of proud that he told me first.

Context Explanations

Chase was someone who I respected a lot in high school. He had a sort of reckless intensity that I admire. He was a loose cannon in other words.

Plot Holes

I really doubt that coward’s hands are a legitimate medical condition, or that driving gloves would be a doctor prescribed remedy.

Erection?

Snazzily Yes

Analysis

Chase was speaking my own concerns back to me. I frostbit my hands years ago and now they get frozen really easily and I need to wear gloves whenever it’s cold outside. I’m guessing the term coward’s hands comes from the fact that shivering hands could be taken for a symptom of cravenness. My vision has deteriorated recently as well. I can get along okay without glasses, but I don’t have the 20:20 that I used to.  Bodily defects seem to be something I accumulate as I get older, and this startles me. I assume this is aging? The new clothes part might be due to the fact that every time I try to buy new clothes I’m shocked by the high price for the small amount of added utility. Then I just decide that white tee-shirts are still good enough for me.

Auguries

I was given information before others in the dream and felt good about it. In the future I may come into some fortuitous knowledge ahead of the curve, and benefit.

AnBROpology: The Movie

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-21

Dream

Leonardo DiCaprio and Jeff Goldblum are brothers, who also happen to be rival anthropologist, and they both fall in love with the same women. The scene is Leo trying to impress the lady, who happens to be nobility. They are at a courtly dance and Leo is pretending to be a noble from eastern Europe. He is making up some dances and pretending they're from his home country. Everyone is impressed by his dance moves, especially the target of his affections. Everyone but Jeff that is, who happens to be standing on a balcony over the dance floor observing everything. He shouts down that most of Leo’s dance moves are actually of western European origins; a statement which is at the same time a harsh anthropology burn, and a brutal cock-block. Coming to no theaters any time soon.

Context Explanations

The dance scene is totally ripping of A Knight's Tale.

Plot Holes

It's probably hard to find European nobility these days and even harder to impersonate them. If you did find some, I doubt they still have courtly dances.

Erection?

A Jeff Goldblum inspired yes!

Analysis

I would totally watch this movie. Jeff would be the more knowledgeable anthropologist, but Leo would be more successful due to his superior social skills. They would enter the most important contest of their lives as they used all their talents to woo the same woman. The schemes would get ever more convoluted and the tactics increasingly underhanded. The lady’s affections would switch between brothers more times than romantic comedies have used this trick to remove all sense of character from the female lead. As the movie progressed she would teach Leo to appreciate anthropology knowledge, and Jeff to appreciate social skills. The climax of the movie would be when the women get betrothed to some evil Baron. Leo and Jeff would unite to use all their abilities to expose the Baron as a fraud, but also expose themselves in the process. Nobody gets to marry the lady, but the brothers come together as the greatest anthropological team of all time. I think this could turn into the most Oscars won by a romantic comedy of all time (or possibly the only romantic comedy ever to win an Oscar).

Auguries

Jeff Goldblum and Leonardo DiCaprio should star in a movie together. I think it would do really well.

Crazy War Correspondent

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-21

Dream

I’m a reporter working in a war torn country. Also on the crew are Reuben the camera man and his wife, who are Caribbean islanders, a fat producer guy, and another man and woman who are implied at the beginning but don’t really do anything in the dream. We are just kind of hanging out and Reuben is running around doing parkour with the local children. Many of the buildings are partially rubble and have a tendency to break up run across them. Reuben’s wife doesn’t like this and wants him to stop. Reuben then gets turned into a zombie (somehow?!), and his wife wished that he would have been her son and not her husband so that he never would have been turned into a zombie. In a twilight zone style twist, Reuben does become her son, and she freaks out because no one else can remember him being her husband. She then starts wishing him back into an adult, super hard. I begin to remember him as he was and add my wishing powers to hers. We are able to wish Reuben back into a man and he is conveniently not a zombie anymore. Then my subconscious remembers that this wasn’t a supernatural dream, and the Chinese Army shows up to make the country a little more war torn. The fat producer, Reuben, and I make a run it. I complain that I’m not ready for this and I don’t have any pants on, which is based on some half remembered thing from earlier in my dreams when I was stating that I don’t like to wear pants. Then I worry about the absence of our vehicles, but I’m told that the rest of the crew already escaped with our equipment. We get to an escape tunnel and it is a loose dirt tunnel up a steep incline that is just large enough that I could turn around in it if I really curled up (being able to turn around is my threshold for claustrophobia). The producer is leading the way and I’m in the middle with Reuben behind me. We hear the Chinese entering the tunnel behind us and worry that we need to be quiet, but I realize that they can tell someone is inside because of all the loose dirt that we send sliding down the tunnel. The tunnel finally levels out, but then it starts to get narrower. The producer is telling me that if he can fit through then there is no way that I will get stuck, but I’m starting to get claustrophobic anyway.

Context Explanations

I have never known a camera man named Reuben from the Caribbean islands who does parkour, but I want to.

Plot Holes

I want to say that we were in a Balkan country of some sort, and I struggle to understand what the Chinese Army would be doing there.

Erection?

Correspondingly Yes

Analysis

There was a lot of random crap going on in this dream. It started out with me being a sweet war correspondent, then adds some parkour, has a zombie, throws in a twilight zone plot, a communist army invades, I forget to wear pants, and ends on some claustrophobia. I don’t even know where to start an analysis. The dream may represent a startling lack of focus, but it seems more like really terrible screen writing. Well, the most intense moment were when I wished Rueben back into an adult, and the crescendoing feeling of claustrophobia. I’ll say this is a desire to solve my problems with mental effort along, and a feeling that my situation is getting steadily worse. This could describe my trying to make a living of my creative skills and slowly working through my savings as I fail to earn money.

Auguries

A fat man in a tight tunnel is an omen for a situation that one is not suited for. A zombie who does parkour is an omen that I don’t understand, but I bet it’s cool. 

Air Pirates

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-19

Dream

Kyle, Barkley, and I are fighter pilots in the military. We drive from a base in the north-west part of the state to another base in the east-central part. We run into my cousin Steph and promise to meet her for lunch the next day. The next morning we are sent on a mission to fly to the south-west corner of the state. Midway through the flight we are attacked by some rogue native fighter planes (sort of like sky pirates). They all seem to be shooting at just me, and Kyle and Barkley are trying to scare them off my tail without actually shooting them down. There is some tense flying while I am taking constant evasive actions, but the enemy planes eventually run away. We land at the base and I realize that we missed lunch with my cousin. We get ready to drive back to the base (the one in the east-central), and I tell the guys that we missed our lunch date. Barkley doesn’t seem real concerned and Kyle is busy writing out our mission report. I open the car door to start driving back, but Kyle has moved into the driver seat because it is easier to write in. I tell him that he doesn’t have to move because I’m going to call my cousin. When I apologize, Steph isn’t mad because she heard about our dogfight on the news and knew that we weren’t going to make it to lunch. She tells me that we were transferring a nuclear warhead, which happened to be on my plane, and the attack was an attempt to steal it. I hadn't known that our mission was such, but it does explain everything that happened.

Context Explanations

Kyle and Barkley were friends of mine in grade school. Steph is my cousin who lives in the north-eastern part of a state, which is kind of close to the dream geography.

Plot Holes

The existence of sky pirates in the middle of the U.S. is improbable, and the fact that we didn’t want to shoot them down doesn’t really make any sense. A secret mission being explained on the news before the pilots who flew on it know the details is also strange. Another thing I don't get is why the driver seat of a car would be easier to write in. I figure the steering wheel would be more in the way, but what do I know.

Erection?

Fighter Planes = Yes

Analysis

The main components of the dream seem to be missing an appointment due to unavoidable circumstances, and getting attacked for something I didn’t know I was carrying. Both of these seem to speak of a feeling of undeserved persecution. This theory is kind of ruined by the fact that I didn’t feel that way in the dream. When I was attacked by the rogue fighters I remember thinking “now this is exciting”, and my cousin learned that we wouldn’t make it to lunch before it was a problem. I guess the dream was about failures to be undeservedly persecuted?

Auguries

Cross-state travel was in the dream quite a bit. Maybe I should drive somewhere?

Bathroom Buffoonery

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-19

Dream

Jimmy and Ryan are taking a bath together, but not in a homosexual way or anything. For all appearances it is a normal shower tub combo (aka not big enough to fit one person comfortably), yet they’re sitting in it as if it were a hot tub. I’m also in the bathroom, and manage to generate a large wave in the toilet, and splash a bunch of water on to the floor (I don’t think there were any waste products in the water since I wasn't grossed out by it, but it still held the stigma of being toilet water). I soak up the water with a pair of towels while a crowd gathers outside the bathroom. We all reach an awkward impasse, as the crowd is waiting to get into the bathroom, Jimmy and Ryan are waiting for me to leave so they can get out of the bath, and I’m waiting for them to finish their bath so that I can hang my towels to drip dry over the tub. We all seem to be using the standard locker-room practice of refusing to acknowledge that some people in the room may or may not be naked.

Context Explanations

Jimmy and Ryan were friends of mine in high school.

Plot Holes

The design of toilet bowls makes it practically impossible to generate a wave large enough to splash out. 

Erection?

Awkwardly Yes

Analysis

I should probably start by saying that the nudity was used to heighten the awkwardness, and wasn’t really sexual. The whole dream just seemed to be a veritable cornucopia of embarrassment, and a bathroom is probably the best setting for such a dream. My subconscious seemed to be crafting the most inelegant situation imaginable, but nothing too awkward has happened to me recently so I can’t really place this in my life.

Auguries

Water played a large role in the dream, and can represents the ability to change to meet the needs of a situation. A future awkward situation can be avoided with fluid behavior. 

Corporate Corruption

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-15

Dream

A man and a woman decide to exact vigilante justice on a local drug dealer. The dealer in question is operating in a large concrete plaza, with his back to a retaining wall in what could only be described as a shady manner. Our heroes confront him, and then beat him up. The police arrive and the drug dealer is taken away in an ambulance. The man and woman are trying to explain their reasons to the police, but then some high ranking detectives pull them aside. The detectives explain that the dealer was just the tip of the iceberg, and that the real problem is located in the corporate office building at the head of the plaza. The detectives can’t get into the building (not enough evidence to get a warrant sort of thing), so the main characters agree to go in to try to uncover what is going on inside. They just walk right into the building and start wandering around. Past the wide open foyer, and through some labyrinthine shelving, they come to a collection of desks where people are working. Immediately, they notice a nun loading money onto a black duffle bag that looks similar to a bag carried by the dealer they beat up earlier. The female vigilante dumps the bag out and starts asking pointed questions about what it’s for. She turns around and sees another working loading various items into a duffle bag. She then starts shouting to everyone in the office about how she has only been in the building a few minutes and has already noticed two instances of questionable actions. She asks why no one has come forward and exposed the company’s clandestine activities. The woman notices an executive whispering to the fat man who leads the security personnel, and the security forces start deploying around her. Now seems like a good time to leave, and she starts moving back to the building entrance. When she emerges into the foyer, she finds one fat security officer, holding a bow, who is guarding the main building exit and a second who is guarding the hallway to the elevators. She dodges back into the high shelves to avoid arrow fire, and runs deeper into the building. After weaving a complicated escape route through the shelves, she finds another fat guy with a bow guarding the stairs. She is able to get behind him with a feint and descends the stairs into the basement, taking whole flights of stairs in single leaps. Screams are heard as the guards turn on all the panicking workers. The woman runs through the dark basement corridors for a way before entering a shower room to hide. When she passes two frantic women running out of the showers and shouting warnings she drops into a slide and skids across the wet floor. She comes to a stop at the far end of the room without finding any threats. The dream ends with a classic failure to resolve the story.

Context Explanations

My brain was crafting this one out of whole cloth.

Plot Holes

The fact that the woman smuggling money for the corporation was a nun seemed a bit strange. Without explanation the male vigilante simply disappeared from the dream half way through, but he wasn’t really needed in the story anymore I guess. Also, bow wielding security guards seem an odd choice. Maybe they didn’t want gunfire to be heard from outside the building.

Erection?

Excitingly Yes

Analysis

This is my favorite type of dream. These fictional stories created by my subconscious are the reason I started writing these down. The best part is that I’m not in the dreams, and just watch them like a movie. Anyway, this one seems like pretty stereotypical action movie writing. The honorable detectives who are handicapped by their own system are hardly new characters, and corrupt corporations seem to be the favorite villain or our times (evil hackers are also popular, but I’m glad my dream didn’t try to add to the bad reputation that has already been built around the title “hacker”). As for clues about my subconscious that can be pulled from the dream, the fact that all the armed security officers were fat might be telling. It speaks of a distrust of overweight individuals, but also seems to harken to an old video game practice of having similar enemies use the exact same character design.

Auguries

If I find myself being pursued by evil henchman through a shower room I should drop into a slide, because it will look really stupendous.

Runaway Dog in the Woods

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-14

Dream

I’m camping in the woods with my parents and sister. When we wake up in the morning my sister’s dog Ziggy has run away. He has a tracking device on him, but it doesn’t seem to be working. After some searching we find his collar with the tracking device and it has a puncture straight through it the size of a dog’s tooth. We eventually find him, and then discuss the best way to put a tracking device on him that he can’t get rid of. I think we should dress him in a three piece suit with the tracker hidden in the tie (not joking). Then dad says something (I forgot what it was when I woke up), and everyone looks at him since it’s totally off the topic of the conversation.

Context Explanations

Still annoyed by Ziggy. My sister doesn’t actually keep a tracking device on him.

Plot Holes

Putting a suit on a dog I guess.

Erection?

Snappily Yes

Analysis

My sister is hyper sensitive about her dog and I tell her that he has run away as a way of getting a rise out of her. This might be why he keeps running away in my dreams. I’ve actually considered teller her to put a tracking device on him, but that just seems like encouraging the madness. Ziggy likes to completely destroy his chew toys, so it’s natural that he would chew up his tracker. I think the suit idea comes from the fact that a tracker is very much spy technology. The natural place to hide something as a spy is in your fancy suit. It’s weird that it wasn’t a tuxedo though.

Auguries

Camping, running away, and destroying a tracking device all suggest escaping. I might need to escape from something in the future.

Son of the Red Baron

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-12

Dream

A boy and his father are working in a field together. A courier arrives and delivers a telegram to the father. He is being called back into active military service because they are Germans and World War II is starting. The scene switches to the boy in school and the teacher asks who Manfred von Richthofen is. The boy answers that he was the Red Baron. This is also the boys father. This confuses him because his father is still alive, but he knows that the Red Baron died in World War I when he was shot in the heart by some dude on the ground (he still landed his plane). The boy starts to doubt if von Richthofen was actually the Red Baron, but doesn’t doubt that's who his father is. The kid sitting in the desk behind the boy starts to whisper in his ear. The kid wants to be his friend because of how smart the boy is (knowing the Red Baron’s name anyway). The boy isn’t in interested. He turns his head away and leans forward in his desk to get away from the kid.

Context Explanations

Manfred von Richthofen was the Red Baron, and he was shot down in WWI. My dream history is accurate.

Plot Holes

The boy didn’t seem real upset that his dad was recalled back into the military.

Erection?

Yes. I only need a hint of fighter planes to be involved.

Analysis

I’m a fan of von Richthofen so his appearance in the dream isn’t super surprising. He is also the only German I know by name who fought in WWI, other than Hitler, so he is an natural choice for a German getting called back to right in WWII. Not that sensical though, since he died. Hence me getting confused half way through the dream. The kid whispering to the boy comes from how I would always answer a lot of questions in school. Maybe I’m unhappy that no one was impressed by this, but the fact that the boy rejects his admirer’s overtures toward friendship makes me think otherwise. I would answer questions as a way to control the pace of classes, which was a pretty jerk move on my part. The dream might show my casual disdain for other students. It doesn’t make me seem like a real nice person (which I’m not I guess), but I think it is the accurate analysis.

Auguries

We had someone being recalled to service followed by a scene in school. This forecasts a return to school, formal or otherwise. I’ve been wanting to learn advanced HTML coding, so maybe that’s it.