AnBROpology: The Movie

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-21

Dream

Leonardo DiCaprio and Jeff Goldblum are brothers, who also happen to be rival anthropologist, and they both fall in love with the same women. The scene is Leo trying to impress the lady, who happens to be nobility. They are at a courtly dance and Leo is pretending to be a noble from eastern Europe. He is making up some dances and pretending they're from his home country. Everyone is impressed by his dance moves, especially the target of his affections. Everyone but Jeff that is, who happens to be standing on a balcony over the dance floor observing everything. He shouts down that most of Leo’s dance moves are actually of western European origins; a statement which is at the same time a harsh anthropology burn, and a brutal cock-block. Coming to no theaters any time soon.

Context Explanations

The dance scene is totally ripping of A Knight's Tale.

Plot Holes

It's probably hard to find European nobility these days and even harder to impersonate them. If you did find some, I doubt they still have courtly dances.

Erection?

A Jeff Goldblum inspired yes!

Analysis

I would totally watch this movie. Jeff would be the more knowledgeable anthropologist, but Leo would be more successful due to his superior social skills. They would enter the most important contest of their lives as they used all their talents to woo the same woman. The schemes would get ever more convoluted and the tactics increasingly underhanded. The lady’s affections would switch between brothers more times than romantic comedies have used this trick to remove all sense of character from the female lead. As the movie progressed she would teach Leo to appreciate anthropology knowledge, and Jeff to appreciate social skills. The climax of the movie would be when the women get betrothed to some evil Baron. Leo and Jeff would unite to use all their abilities to expose the Baron as a fraud, but also expose themselves in the process. Nobody gets to marry the lady, but the brothers come together as the greatest anthropological team of all time. I think this could turn into the most Oscars won by a romantic comedy of all time (or possibly the only romantic comedy ever to win an Oscar).

Auguries

Jeff Goldblum and Leonardo DiCaprio should star in a movie together. I think it would do really well.