Garbage Run

Dream

My mother and I are going to throw away my old football gear. We each grab an armful and start out at a jog for the nearest dumpster. By nearest, I mean a few blocks away. We go past the junior high and decide to cut through the grounds to save time. The football teams are having practice but we just run past like we didn’t notice. The practices are all arranged like they were in real life, with the two seventh grade teams practicing on the upper field and the eighth and ninth grade teams practicing on the game field. It is the point in the season where they've just started to wear pads. The seventh grade kids haven’t had enough practices yet, but eighth grade is getting them for the first time and ninth has had them for a few days (you had to attend something like ten practices before you could wear pads and the higher grades always started practice sooner). When we get to the ninth grade team I notice that Taylor is now the coach (he was on my football team and his dad used to be the coach). He recognizes me and calls for another classmate of ours to come over, but my mom and I just jog right past him. We vault the fence that runs around the field area and start heading for the dumpster that is apparently next to the school. After dropping down a small retaining wall we come to a second higher wall. Along the one are standing sheets of plywood arranged like a line of dominoes. I put my hands on either side of a sheet and slide down it. At this point I notice that Leonard Nimoy is narrating. He’s talking about the nature of human beings or something. Suddenly I’m being attacked (possibly by my mother) and I get knocked through one of the plywood sheets. My body is lying mangled on the broken plywood with my stomach arched and my four limbs tucked underneath. Leonard says something about how the human body is like that of a scorpion.

Analysis

I was recently reminiscing about the first practice with pads during my waking hours, so that probably inspired this dream. It was always the first practice were everything we did wasn’t just physical conditioning which was nice, but we also spent the entire day doing the most hard hitting drills we had which was always fun. It was also the practice were whatever girl had joined the football team that year stopped showing up.

Leonard Nimoy is stupendous and I wish he would narrate all my dreams. I don’t even mind if it’s really bizarre.

I’ve been doing some research into yoga, so that is probably the source of the weird body position.  

Auguries

Never throw away perfectly good football pads when you could turn them into sweet dystopian future armor. Also be on your guard whenever near a wall that is convenient for someone to kick you through.  

Questionable Similes

Dream

Barkley and I are on a baseball team. I don’t know anyone else we who shows up, and many of them don’t seem to know how to play. Our team is up to bat first and I lead off. I’m able to hit a double. Barkley bats next and hits me home. There is one girl and one guy on the team who are decent players so we put them next in the order. After Barkley gets to home we start making sure everyone else on the team understands the basic mechanics of the game. The girl who can play becomes a sort of coaching assistant, and we have her play catch with a boy who's struggling. He keeps throwing the ball underhand and when we tell him to throw it overhand he says he's worried that she won’t be able to catch a ball with a horizontal trajectory. Barkley tried to show him how to throw, but the kid is left handed and there's an awkward moment when he tried to give his glove to Barkley. Barkley ends up bare hand catching the throw (like a champion), and then demonstrates how to throw the ball. Our assistant is fully capable of catching it. Barkley explains that it's hard to throw very far underhanded since the ball has to travel such a large arc. The boy eventually understands and relates that the extra distance in an underhand throw is like if you had a club, but you used most of the space in the building for closets instead of dance floor. Barkley and I share a look expressing that we agree that the simile does explain the situation, but it isn’t one that we would have chosen. The dream skips to the end of the game and everyone is leaving. The semi-skilled girl and guy from our team are alone in the dugout and the guy introduces himself as Jeek. He does this in a way obviously intended to begin further relations with the girl. He delivers his name with a cool confidence that shows he understands how weird it is, but that it doesn’t bother him. She blows him off as a dork and walks away. When she walks past me I try to defend Jeek and ask why she rebuffed him. She says “Any girl that is interested in him would have to be tighter than Mt. Everest.” I piece this together to mean that Mt. Everest is some sort of screw to be turned, and the tightness on the girl implies virginity brought on by dorkiness.

Analysis

This whole setup is reminiscent of my curling experiences. Attendance to curling usually consists of a few regulars, who show up every week, and then a mix of people who are new to the game or have only been there once or twice before. It is a sort of unspoken responsibility of those of us who are considered “good” at the game to show everyone else how to play. Luckily curling is a simple game (at least at our level of play), and it’s still interesting even when many of the people playing aren’t very skilled. I don’t think the same could really be said of baseball, but this was a dream after all and it never really showed how our new players ended up performing. 

Jeek getting shot down is related to the annoyance I feel for people who completely dismiss things due to some perceived trait. This applies to people who dislike all video games on principle (although they often play games like Angry Birds or the like themselves, which are as much video games as any other, just not as sophisticated); those who won’t watch any movie more than 20 years old, since they assume it will be boring; and especially anybody who avoids something that has been labeled as nerdy, regardless of any other merits. The worst part is that the reasons for dismissing these things seems to be completely arbitrary. I mean, a nerdy label is usually based on a passionate fan base (there can also be an intellectual or esoteric aspect, but not necessarily), which only seems to indicate quality.  This is not to say that I’m not guilty of this offense (I won’t watch Johnny Depp movies for reasons that are far from justifiable).

Auguries

I’m going to take this as a sign that no matter how good I am at curling, it’s not going to impress any women.

Break Away Blocker

Dream

I’m playing football in junior high. The game consists of my team having one break away play after another. I’m keep running with the ball carriers in case anyone tries to tackle them, but the other team is usually far behind. This happens a few times with different players scoring the touchdown (one of them Eric who was one of the fasted kids in the state, but I was somehow keeping up with him). After we get to the end zone I always hit them on the shoulder pads and shouted congratulations. Strangely, the field we're playing in is actually three fields in a U shape, with a steel building in the middle. The final break away play that I remember had Brooks running the ball (he was always a little faster than me in school), and Ryan was running as a blocker with me. We are way out ahead of anyone chasing us, so we aren’t running at full speed. I periodically look back and call out the distance of the nearest pursuer is getting, which is never closer than 30 yards. After scoring we walk through the building to get back to our team since they're on the other side of the U. The opposing coach is standing in the overhead doorway of the building, and I hear him complain about how badly they are losing.

Analysis

When I played football I always enjoyed running with the breakaway plays. It was something I did just because I could. I was one of the faster kids on the team, but I couldn’t catch, so I ended up playing on the line. The most exciting thing I could do on offense was to make a block to ensure a touchdown, so that's what I always tried to do. During break away plays it seemed like most people would just acknowledge that they are out of the action and stop trying, but I always ran to catch up. This usually resulted in the ball carrier and I running by ourselves but I always hoped something exciting would happen. Nobody ever pulled a hamstring and fumbled the balls so that I would have to run it in, and there was never a world champion sprinter on the other team that I had to slow down, but I was always ready. In sports, I always have the most fun when I'm doing something. Why would I stand around for half the play when I could be sprinting down field? If I'm playing center field and there is a grounder to the pitcher, I still run to the infield in case of an overthrow or anything like that. I don't see the point of just relaxing in the outfield and watching the play happen without trying to be a part of it. Back to break away plays in football, I also enjoyed getting into the end zone on scoring plays. I’m not certain if I was trying to share some of the glory or make it look like I was helping, but I always wanted to be there.

Auguries

Following in the footsteps of others will lead to success, but we may need to travel farther than normal. 

Parking Lot Pursuit

Dream

I’m attending college, but it’s taking place in my old elementary school building, and all the people are from high school (basically all of my school experiences mixed together). It starts in Mr. Hladky’s P.E. class, and we are playing softball. Kirk (twin #1) and I are captains, and I pick Ryan (close friend) and Adam (twin #2) to be on my team. Kirk picks a team with most of the traditionally athletic kids on it, but my team still ends up winning. Later we are finished with class for the day and Kirk and I are discussing our plans for the future. It is near the end of the school year and we are also close to graduating. Kirk says that he only needs to take two P.E. classes next semester to graduate, and I comment on how easy that is going to be. We somehow find ourselves in Mr. Gunderson’s math class. Mr. Gunderson is sitting at a desk in the middle of the room and is tossing a ball into the air and hitting it with bat. Students are scattered around the room working and the ball is flying over their heads and bouncing off walls but they don’t seem bothered. I catch the ball and refuse to give it back to Mr. Gunderson in a cheeky manner. Trisha is there (a girl I had a massive crush on in high school) but I’m too awkward to acknowledge her. I leave Kirk there and head for the exit. I realize that I still have Mr. Gunderson’s ball, so I go back into his class and set it on Kirk's desk. Back in the hallway I find Nathan, Brad, and others (high school acquaintances) walking in a group. I walk with them and just before exiting the building they all break into a run. I do the same, but soon realize that they are running from another group of kids (which includes Chase, who had one of the strongest personalities in school) and by joining them I have become guilty by association. When I blow through the doors I start heading for my truck which is parked fairly close to the building. In doing this I separate myself from the other kids, who run to the far end of the lot. The pursuing kids all follow me, likely due to some predatory instinct to single out your prey. I jump in my truck and quickly start the engine, but the vehicle is already surrounded. They are banging on the sides and rocking the vehicle back and forth (I don’t feel physically threatened and only think they are trying to embarrass me), but I’m able to pull out and start driving through the parking lot. I drive at a speed much too high for how many people are present and for some reason the speed increases my turning radius by a ridiculous amount. My tires are squealing while I struggle to make it around the turns in the lot, but I have to stop before I hit some parked cars. The person in charge of parking tickets is standing before me. He stares me down and shakes his head at my reckless driving, and I worry that the kids chasing me are going to catch up while I’m stopped.

Analysis

I’ve always dismissed the appearances of Kirk and Adam in these dreams as just people I used to know, but the frequency that these identical twins are appearing hints at deeper meaning. These two had nearly opposite personalities while having very similar physical appearances. This indicates a certain duality of personality and the strength of outside influences on how a person behaves. I can’t put anything specific to this idea but I think there’s something to it. Softball makes another appearance, which isn’t surprising. It is my favorite sport, I took a softball class in college, and I was the captain of a rec-league team for a couple years. Trisha is probably here as a bridge between softball and math class since I had memorable interactions with her in both those settings (she was on my team one year, and we used to play cards instead of doing math work). Mr. Gunderson was a good target for my attitude of senioritis. As a senior I assumed a very cocky and cavalier attitude, and my close relationship with Mr. Gunderson only increased this behavior. I had a feeling that I had learned everything that the school had to offer and this gave me plenty of confidence. The chase scene at the end of the dream shows my feelings about joining groups. When you associate yourself with people you can become answerable for their actions, even if those actions took place before you joined them. This is why I don’t like joining clubs or organizations. I want people to judge me solely on my own behavior and not on some preconceptions for a group I belong to.

Auguries

Based on the softball game, an underdog will come out on top.

Author's Note: We've had a format change to reduce redundancy, unneeded information, and lame puns. 

Hat Shopping Near the Zoo

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-01

Dream

I’m shopping for a new hat in New York City. I go to a couple different stores but all I can find are hats for the Broncos, the Seahawks, or a local college team. I’m also put off by how stylish all the hats are, and I see how stylish everyone else in the store is so I feel like I don’t belong. I start walking back to my truck which I parked a few blocks away, and run into a girl I have a discussion group with in school. She greets me as “Computer Science Major” since everyone in the group calls me that because I’m good at math, not because that’s my major. I tease them for constantly being on their smart phones sending emails to one another. One email contained an obvious spelling error, so I imply that they are all immaterial and don’t contain anything useful. This context has the feeling of coming from another dream I had earlier. The girl states that she is in a hurry and starts jogging ahead. There is a man (with curly hair) and a woman with her and they start jogging after her. I get a feeling like we are in a race and run to catch up. They happen to be headed to the same place where my truck is parked, but when we get their all the vehicles are missing and police tape is blocking the street. I’m sure that I wasn’t parked illegally and can’t understand why my vehicle would have been towed. The people I was following have walked around the corner so I pass the police barrier and follow them. I still can’t find my truck, but I do see a giant lion charging a police line at the other end of the street. The others are already sprinting down a parking ramp underneath a building, and I do the same. We run down and around a corner and then through a series of doors. Everyone is yelling at me to run faster because the lion is chasing me, but I never look back. At a final set of double doors we stop and lock them. There is a black man inside who is angry at us for almost letting the lion in. He shows us a metal door that the lion attacked and it is extremely battered, with claw punctures that dented it all the way from the other side.

Context Explanations

The Broncos and Seahawks are about to play a Super Bowl in New York. I’ve never been shopping in New York though, and nobody called me Computer Science Major in college.

Plot Holes

Setting up some police tape doesn’t seem like a sufficient way to contain a lion.

Erection?

Fearfully Yes

Analysis

I do get uncomfortable in hat stores. I went to a store I think was called “Lids” once, and it was a very unpleasant experience. The dream also carries my annoyance about the commercialism of the Super Bowl. My vehicle being towed is probably a call back to when I was afraid to park illegal in front of the post office the other day. What the lion represents, I can’t say. It might be a dramatic rendering of social situation, aka Super Bowl Parties, that usually make me want to run away and hide.

Auguries

Peer pressure leads to trouble. I’m better off not following the crowd.

Beach Capture the Flag

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-30

Dream

I’m in high school gym class and we’re trying to decide what game to play. The teacher is completely differing to me on this decision, and is being really obsequious in making sure that I’m happy with what is chosen. I decide on capture the flag, and then the teacher insists that I be one of the team captains. The picking isn’t shown, but I know that I end up with Ryan and Zach on my team. We turn around to find ourselves on a sandy beach and the other team captain (who I don’t recognize) has already set everything up to play. There are two ten foot poles set about 50 yards apart. Each pole has a pennant flag; my team is defending blue, and the other team is red. The objects we are capturing are colored bean bags with streamers attached. As the game starts, Ryan and I sprint to the other team's flag before they can defend it. The game plays similar to ultimate frisbee, so we are not allowed to run with the flags and defense consists of intercepting passes. I grab the red flag and Ryan is ready to receive it down the beach. In my classic skip the cutoff man move, I throw it over Ryan to Zach. My throw is short (I must have improperly judge the drag force of the streamer), but luckily the other team captain was guarding Ryan and Zach is able to retrieve the flag off the ground. We move the flag downfield back to our pole to score, and the rest of our team is able to keep Red from scoring with our flag. Our goalie (who might be A.J.) throws the blue flag into the far back corner of the field, because the beach somehow has a rectangular boundary expressed on it. The dream ends as I puzzle over the procedure for returning the red flag after we score.

Context Explanations

Ryan, Zach, and A.J. are kids I went to high school with. Ryan and A.J. (who was a soccer goalie) were both in my Outdoor Ed. class, which was a P.E. where we played various games outside. My rival captain seemed to be an amalgam of people I know, and the teacher was unrecognizable, which is strange because most of my gym teachers had pretty memorable personalities. I always skip the cutoff man in baseball.

Plot Holes

There isn’t really a good way to return the flag after a score. You can’t stop the game because the other flag is still in play, and forcing the team to run it back doesn’t really make sense. Without physical defense, there is also nothing stopping someone from standing at the pole to grab it as soon as it’s returned. This game is broken.

Erection?

Physically Yes

Analysis

I took a gym class every semester in high school, so a dream about this isn’t surprising. Capture the flag was always one of my favorite games as a kid, and I guess I was trying to create rules that would make sense for a gym class setting (and failed). Other than the fact that I show myself actively captain a winning team (they’re my dreams, so it's only seems natural that I’m the hero), the only analyzable part seems to be how the teacher was referring to me. What this resembles is when the gym teacher I always had in high school would direct math questions to me during class. He followed the school's math competition and would always bring up how well I did in front of the class. He was just a really cool guy like that. We had a good relationship; we used to talk about the benefits of cutting our own hair, once when I bloodied both knees and elbows in a sledding accident he complimented me on spreading the impact to four points of contact, and I would warn everyone not to bet against him performing amazing feats to make us run extra laps because he never failed (he used to sit in the bleachers at half court and swish basketballs one handed). He always tried to raise me up and make me feel good about myself, and that is the reason why I spent one eighth of my high school career in gym and don’t feel bad about it.

Auguries

Blue triumphed over red on the beach. I should wear my blue swim trunks next time I go swimming.

Barehanding Baseballs

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-07

Dream

Adam, Brandon, Brandon’s younger brother (whose name I can’t remember, which I feel bad about), and I are walking to baseball practice. I’m talking about how I regret never making any sweet barehanded plays in my baseball career. I would settle for either having snatching a ground ball with my right hand and bypassing the mitt for a quick throw, or the always stupendous double play move of barehanding a tossed ball while standing on second to immediately make a throw to first (bonus if the other fielder scooped and tossed the ball with his mitt and never touched it with his throwing hand). Everyone agrees with me that these are in fact some of the greatest thing that a baseball player can do (other than a one man triple play). While talking we’ve been tossing a baseball back and forth between us in little lobs.

Context Explanations

Brandon and his brother were on my team during the last year I played baseball. Adam was on a different team but I knew him from school.

Plot Holes

Other than the fact that I was never on a baseball team with Adam, this could have happened. I never really walked to baseball practice either but that’s just a quibble.

Erection?

Barehandedly Yes

Analysis

I really do have regrets about not making any cool barehanded plays. I fully admit that I haven’t come to terms with this, and I probably never will. Once in high school gym we played softball, and there weren’t enough gloves to go around. I made a few catches in the outfield without a mitt, but we were using a ragball so it wasn’t anything that impressive. On a tangential note, at the beginning of that day I had a mitt and was swapping it between innings with a girl on the other team. I ended up giving the mitt away to a girl on my team who didn’t have a glove since I figured I didn’t really need one. Then when the girl showed up to swap again I told her I had given the mitt away and she got annoyed. This was more interaction than I usually had with women in high school, and I feel bad about screwing it up (as I always do). Also, Adam had an identical twin who wasn’t in this dream at all. I guess that means that I identify them as completely separate individuals.

Auguries

In the context of the dream I was regretting never making any barehanded plays while still involved in playing baseball. The fact that my regret was projected through future baseball playing means that I will never accomplish this goal. 

Field Goals Gone Wrong

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-04

Dream

I’m playing football in junior high and we're attempting to kick a field goal. I’m on the line where I belong (because I’m way too awkward to touch the ball), and Brett is our kicker. There's the brief flurry of action after the snap as the other team tries to block the kick, but after the ball is away we all stop and watch it. The attempt is long but it has the distance. It begins to veer left, and my wishful telekinesis is only good enough to drive it into the upright. The ball then preposterously starts to retrace its trajectory back towards us. Everyone stands dumbfounded as the ball flies all the way back and hits Brett in the leg. He reacts like it might have injured him, but I laugh anyway. Both teams just stand in mute amazement for a bit until I realize something and say “Has the whistle blown yet?”. We all realize that the ball is still in play and there’s a scrabble to recover it from near the sidelines, where it ricocheted to off of Brett’s shin. Somebody from the other team is able to scoop it up but is instantly tackled out of bounds by Khris.  

Context Explanations

Brett was our kicker in junior high since he was a soccer player and joined the team just to be the kicker. He was pretty good even if we never really attempted field goals. Khris was one of second string receivers, aka a solid special teams player.

Plot Holes

The physics of the ball’s return trajectory is just not really possible. Either there were no friction losses with the air, the ball kept all its energy in the impact, and bounced back at the same angle that it hit the upright; or the upright imparted enough energy into the ball the make up for any losses. When I can actually remember thinking “this doesn’t seem likely” during the dream, the observed actions are no doubt wildly impossible.

Erection?

Implausibly Yes

Analysis

All the wacky football antics are merely a backdrop for the core idea of the dream. Violence is done on something (booting a ball), and then that something returns to do violence back (energetically impacting a leg). I must be afraid that some action is going to come back and harm me. I can’t think of anything specific (maybe quitting my job, or spending time not writing or drawing), but the fact the I laughed at Brett means I don’t think anyone is going to have any sympathy for me.

Auguries

11 players on two teams makes 22. 22 is my lucky number. I have good fortunes ahead.

Scrapyard Paintball

Date Dreamed: 2013-12-25

Dream

I’m playing paintball in a scrapyard, and everything is made of silvery metal (aluminum stockpile?). I’m up against roughly eight opponents and we are all equipped with inaccurate pistols. My enemies are dresses in black which stands out sharply against the silver metal, and they have the habit of standing half out of cover. I’m positioned behind some tipped over bleachers that offer me solid protection. My plan consists of slowly peeking around the left side to engage the guys in black one at a time (who are nicely spread out so that they can’t support each other). After easily shooting a few exposed enemies (the pistols are supposed to be inaccurate but I hit everyone with the first shot) one of them tries to run up to my cover and flank me, but I hear him coming. I switch to the right side of the bleachers and shoot him while he’s in the open. After shooting everyone I can see from the bleachers I move to the top of a stack of boxes. I have the high ground and pick off a couple more bad guys who are completely failing to hide. The last target is escorting two hostages and is standing in the middle of a metal building. After I give him a shot to center mass the game is over and I get debriefed by some military officers. It seems that this was training for an important mission (possibly a hostage rescue). The dream ends as a head to a transport plane to leave for the mission.

Context Explanations

I used to play paintball in high school, but we played in dry creek beds not scrapyards.

Plot Holes

No sugar plums.

Erection?

Covertly Yes

Analysis

I’m sad about the fact that I haven’t been paintballing in a long time, and I watch too many action movies.

Auguries

Shooting people in a silver environment means that I will kill to make money (metaphorically?).

Chopping Wood in a Sporting Goods Store

Date Dreamed: 2013-12-23

Dream

I’m working in a sporting goods store and we are preparing for a big sale. Adam is trying to light a fire for a camping display, but he’s trying to start with whole logs. I explain that he is going to need kindling to get the fire going, and help him to get it working. After the fire is burning we use big umbrellas to catch the smoke (we are indoors). I’m wondering why the fire alarms aren’t going off. This was only practice for the sale and for the actual event the boss decides that I should be in charge of the fire. We still only have unsplit logs and the sale is about to start, so I start chopping the wood into kindling right in the store (I’m assuming we had a splitting maul in stock). The boss is giving a speech to rally the crowd at the front of the store while I hurry to light the fire. I get the fire going just before the shoppers arrive.

Context Explanations

Adam was my coworker back when I used to have a job, and he also works part time at a sporting goods store. I have a bit of a reputation as a good fire tender. It's one of my many skills that for some reason completely fail to impress women.

Plot Holes

Why would I get a job in a sporting goods store? I would be terrible at selling things and helping shoppers.

Erection?

Pyromanically Yes

Analysis

I pine for a job where I can do things that I enjoy and am good at, like tending fires. I also miss working with Adam I guess. I also planned on going to a sporting goods store later in the day.

Auguries

The fire symbolizes a consuming desire, and the wood chopping symbolized badassery (think Rocky IV or Seven Samurai/Magnificent Seven). I’ll be consumed by striving to be badass in the future. Also in the present. And the past too.

Basketball Benching

Date Dreamed: 2013-12-10

Dream

It’s a high school boys vs. girls exhibition basketball game. The girls are given the ball to start the game (because apparently a jump wouldn’t be fair), but the boys steal the ball as it’s thrown in and score two points right away. This starts an argument because the girls don’t think it’s fair because they didn’t know who was covering who yet. While everyone is standing around discussing this one girl sneaks away with the ball and makes a three point shot. This is given to them as a way of evening things out, but the boys are still mad because the girls are a point ahead after the affair. I show up and am the one to throws the ball in for the boys, but someone else goes in to play for me and I get benched. I realize that I probably won’t get to play for the rest of the game. It is unsure if this is because I was the one who stole the ball and started the argument, or if someone finally realized that I’m not good enough to start on the high school basketball team.

Context Explanations

My full court press was the cat’s pajamas.

Plot Holes

Did I steal the ball? My first hand experiences don’t start until I’m throwing the ball in, so I’m not sure who it was or if I was even playing at the time. Maybe everyone had their mind wiped of the incident as it was the only way to solve the argument. That seems logical for an argument between high school boys and girls.

Erection?

Ambiguously Yes

Analysis

I distrust women to follow sport rules in the same spirit that men do (can be corroborated by this dream). It bothers me when different rules are applied to the different genders and it’s described as equal. I also have a very high opinion of my b-ball defensive skills (this is actually an analysis of the context section).

Auguries

I’m going to make an ass of myself in from of some women. This is more of a given than a prediction. Maybe the prophesy is just that I’m going to be around women, and the ass making is just an inevitable byproduct.

Varsity Cardboard Construction Team

Date Dreamed: 2013-12-06

Dream

Members of  my old sports teams are building a giant cardboard dragon emerging out of a hillside. I’m not helping to build it but I keep walking past and eventually stop to talk with everyone. It starts to rain heavily and they have to stop building (the cardboard is totally okay though). We all make plans to go somewhere to eat. I get a ride in someone’s SUV and when we get to the restaurant we all sit at a big cafeteria table and reminisce about old football games we played and argue which teams were better.

Context Explanations

The cast is mostly based on my school’s seventh grade football teams (my school had two teams for that grade), but there are a few extras thrown in randomly.

Plot Holes

Everything? I guess it does follow an odd logic of sorts.

Erection?

Yes

Analysis

I’d recently played Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, so that’s where the dragon came from. The cardboard construction probably came from this They Might Be Giants music video. All the reminiscing was repeats of actual conversations that we used to have in the school lunchroom. This is all way too practical so let’s just say the whole thing actually represents my mother.

Auguries

Stay dry.

Hostile Softball

Date Dreamed: 2013-12-05

Dream

I’m playing softball. We don’t have enough people for a full team but we play anyway. While my team is batting I want to go base coach (I love base coaching) but the batting order is so short that I can’t leave (we’re somehow only batting five people although we’re fielding at least eight). We have runners on first and second, and when I’m heading out to bat I’m told someone else can’t play and I’m given their gear bags (for some reason?). When I get to the plate I have to set everything down and this annoys the pitcher who happens to be Anna. The first pitch is a ball (high) and the other team doesn’t have a catcher, so I have to retrieve the ball and throw it back. The next pitch is outside and the third one is a “chin music” fast pitch (we’re playing slow pitch). Anna gets even angrier when I take my base (only one, which confirms this isn’t co-ed league) because I don’t retrieve the ball. She throws a fastball over the plate and the umpire (who is also their coach?) counts it as a strike on our next batter before he even gets to the plate. Our runner on third then steals home (turnabout is fair play), grabs the ball, and throws it to me. Anna is furious now and the short stop (Barkley, who doesn’t really seem angry) gives her a baseball. She throws the ball at me but I block it with the softball I’m holding. Then she and the second basement are both threatening to throw balls at the same time, but I’m confident that the second baseman is going to miss.

Context Explanations

Anna and Barkley are friends of mine from grade school and they were also on my pee-wee baseball teams. Not necessarily context, but in my old softball league we started with 1-1 counts, so it only takes three balls to walk, and in the co-ed league men take two bases on a walk. Men also had to bat left handed in co-ed, which I wasn’t doing.

Plot Holes

Where are all these baseballs coming from?

Erection?

Yes

Analysis

I’m afraid of people who get irrationally upset over trivial matters (maybe women with power too?). More importantly, I still haven’t gotten over all the times people missed our softball games.

Auguries

Barkley was shown playing short stop, and will soon be promoted to a position of prestige and authority.

Hollow Victories In Water Polo

Date Dreamed: 2013-12-04

Dream

I’m playing water polo with Chris covering me and I’m doing really well. I get the distinct impression that he isn’t trying very hard.

Context Explanations

Chris was one of the biggest jocks in my high school. Our version of water polo involved scoring by holding a volley ball in the pool gutters for three seconds while the other team tried to pry you off, so physical strength was fairly important.

Plot Holes

Seems pretty solid actually

Erection?

Yes

Analysis

It means that I don’t like my victories to be easy or I don’t feel satisfied, or maybe it’s just some sort of repressed homoerotic fantasy. Hard to say.

Auguries

Another pool! I should seriously go swimming.