Escaping Airports

Dream

I won a guest appearance on Man vs.Wild with Bear Grylls. The environment we are surviving is an airport, specifically how to get out of an airport during a disaster. There is some stuff about how to get through security, but the thing he is actually showing me in the dream is how to put on a hazmat suit while running. First he takes his suit out of the bag (you should never go anywhere without your packaged hazmat suit) and puts the hood over his head. He is then securing the hood to his head with the draw strings, so that the suit will stay on while leaving his arms free. The way he ties the draw strings is very involved, since he is doing it without ever releasing his grip on them. During this entire thing we are running through a busy airport. Bear’s explanations are always deadly serious and intense but everyone keeps looking at us like we’re crazy and I’m having a hard time not breaking into laughter. I notice Nathan (a friend from high school) in the crowd and I give him a shrug to show that I really don’t know what to make of this situation. Bear is going on and on about how people might be trying to get us and they could have biological weapons, and all I can do is smile and nod. He says “I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff” and I think to myself “yeah, I can kind of tell.”

Analysis

I haven’t seen an episode of Man vs. Wild in a long time, but I like the twist my dream put on the show. First, having an unskilled guest on is nice because it limits the survival techniques to things that normal people can actually do (free climbing a sheer cliff isn’t something the average lost hiker is willing to attempt). I also like the idea of surviving in urban situations. To get lost in the jungle you usually have to deliberately go to the jungle, but you never know when you might be in the middle of an urban disaster. The main problem with this, which is shown pretty well in the dream, is that it's hard to actually create the disaster so that you can survive it. We just went to an actual operating airport and pretended like a disaster was happening and this ended up looking farcical.

The dream also shows the problem I have with being serious. I like to maintain a carefree attitude and rarely get work up over anything. A complete sincerity demeanor always appears absurd to me and if I ever behave this way you can be confident that I’m doing it facetiously. It’s more fun to see the humor in everything.

Auguries

I need to start carrying a hazmat suit.

Break Away Blocker

Dream

I’m playing football in junior high. The game consists of my team having one break away play after another. I’m keep running with the ball carriers in case anyone tries to tackle them, but the other team is usually far behind. This happens a few times with different players scoring the touchdown (one of them Eric who was one of the fasted kids in the state, but I was somehow keeping up with him). After we get to the end zone I always hit them on the shoulder pads and shouted congratulations. Strangely, the field we're playing in is actually three fields in a U shape, with a steel building in the middle. The final break away play that I remember had Brooks running the ball (he was always a little faster than me in school), and Ryan was running as a blocker with me. We are way out ahead of anyone chasing us, so we aren’t running at full speed. I periodically look back and call out the distance of the nearest pursuer is getting, which is never closer than 30 yards. After scoring we walk through the building to get back to our team since they're on the other side of the U. The opposing coach is standing in the overhead doorway of the building, and I hear him complain about how badly they are losing.

Analysis

When I played football I always enjoyed running with the breakaway plays. It was something I did just because I could. I was one of the faster kids on the team, but I couldn’t catch, so I ended up playing on the line. The most exciting thing I could do on offense was to make a block to ensure a touchdown, so that's what I always tried to do. During break away plays it seemed like most people would just acknowledge that they are out of the action and stop trying, but I always ran to catch up. This usually resulted in the ball carrier and I running by ourselves but I always hoped something exciting would happen. Nobody ever pulled a hamstring and fumbled the balls so that I would have to run it in, and there was never a world champion sprinter on the other team that I had to slow down, but I was always ready. In sports, I always have the most fun when I'm doing something. Why would I stand around for half the play when I could be sprinting down field? If I'm playing center field and there is a grounder to the pitcher, I still run to the infield in case of an overthrow or anything like that. I don't see the point of just relaxing in the outfield and watching the play happen without trying to be a part of it. Back to break away plays in football, I also enjoyed getting into the end zone on scoring plays. I’m not certain if I was trying to share some of the glory or make it look like I was helping, but I always wanted to be there.

Auguries

Following in the footsteps of others will lead to success, but we may need to travel farther than normal. 

Parking Lot Pursuit

Dream

I’m attending college, but it’s taking place in my old elementary school building, and all the people are from high school (basically all of my school experiences mixed together). It starts in Mr. Hladky’s P.E. class, and we are playing softball. Kirk (twin #1) and I are captains, and I pick Ryan (close friend) and Adam (twin #2) to be on my team. Kirk picks a team with most of the traditionally athletic kids on it, but my team still ends up winning. Later we are finished with class for the day and Kirk and I are discussing our plans for the future. It is near the end of the school year and we are also close to graduating. Kirk says that he only needs to take two P.E. classes next semester to graduate, and I comment on how easy that is going to be. We somehow find ourselves in Mr. Gunderson’s math class. Mr. Gunderson is sitting at a desk in the middle of the room and is tossing a ball into the air and hitting it with bat. Students are scattered around the room working and the ball is flying over their heads and bouncing off walls but they don’t seem bothered. I catch the ball and refuse to give it back to Mr. Gunderson in a cheeky manner. Trisha is there (a girl I had a massive crush on in high school) but I’m too awkward to acknowledge her. I leave Kirk there and head for the exit. I realize that I still have Mr. Gunderson’s ball, so I go back into his class and set it on Kirk's desk. Back in the hallway I find Nathan, Brad, and others (high school acquaintances) walking in a group. I walk with them and just before exiting the building they all break into a run. I do the same, but soon realize that they are running from another group of kids (which includes Chase, who had one of the strongest personalities in school) and by joining them I have become guilty by association. When I blow through the doors I start heading for my truck which is parked fairly close to the building. In doing this I separate myself from the other kids, who run to the far end of the lot. The pursuing kids all follow me, likely due to some predatory instinct to single out your prey. I jump in my truck and quickly start the engine, but the vehicle is already surrounded. They are banging on the sides and rocking the vehicle back and forth (I don’t feel physically threatened and only think they are trying to embarrass me), but I’m able to pull out and start driving through the parking lot. I drive at a speed much too high for how many people are present and for some reason the speed increases my turning radius by a ridiculous amount. My tires are squealing while I struggle to make it around the turns in the lot, but I have to stop before I hit some parked cars. The person in charge of parking tickets is standing before me. He stares me down and shakes his head at my reckless driving, and I worry that the kids chasing me are going to catch up while I’m stopped.

Analysis

I’ve always dismissed the appearances of Kirk and Adam in these dreams as just people I used to know, but the frequency that these identical twins are appearing hints at deeper meaning. These two had nearly opposite personalities while having very similar physical appearances. This indicates a certain duality of personality and the strength of outside influences on how a person behaves. I can’t put anything specific to this idea but I think there’s something to it. Softball makes another appearance, which isn’t surprising. It is my favorite sport, I took a softball class in college, and I was the captain of a rec-league team for a couple years. Trisha is probably here as a bridge between softball and math class since I had memorable interactions with her in both those settings (she was on my team one year, and we used to play cards instead of doing math work). Mr. Gunderson was a good target for my attitude of senioritis. As a senior I assumed a very cocky and cavalier attitude, and my close relationship with Mr. Gunderson only increased this behavior. I had a feeling that I had learned everything that the school had to offer and this gave me plenty of confidence. The chase scene at the end of the dream shows my feelings about joining groups. When you associate yourself with people you can become answerable for their actions, even if those actions took place before you joined them. This is why I don’t like joining clubs or organizations. I want people to judge me solely on my own behavior and not on some preconceptions for a group I belong to.

Auguries

Based on the softball game, an underdog will come out on top.

Author's Note: We've had a format change to reduce redundancy, unneeded information, and lame puns. 

Ménage à Introisrruptus

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-04

Dream

Explicit Content Warning. I’m at home with my mother and sister, and two women are also staying with us. They are a blonde and a tall brunette, and I may be in a relationship with the brunette. They are together in a bedroom, and I am in the living room with my family. My sister says something that bothers me and I decide that there is something more entertaining I could be doing. I join the women in the bedroom, and we all start making out in a big pile on the bed. We hear my family approaching and the girls tell me to lock the door. I get up and lock it but when my mom and sister arrive they open the door without a problem (the lock on the door didn’t fully catch). The fun is over here so I ask my girlfriend if she wants to go to my room. She consents, so I pick her up and start carrying her through the house, flagrantly blowing off my family a second time. We feel a little bad for leaving the other girl, but we are too turned on at this point to really care. She has her hands on her head with her elbows salient, so I have to carefully maneuver her through doors to not bump her arms. We finally get to my room and I lock the door, securely this time. We resuming making out on my bed with her lying supine and me on top of her. I start on her mouth and then move to the ear. The ear is strangely thin and flimsy but I don’t give much thought to this and worry that I don’t get too much spit in it. She gently pats my butt with both hands to encourage the progress of my erection, and it’s super effective. My shirt goes missing at some point in here. I start grinding my pelvis against hers and consider moving my mouth to her neck when I am woken by the sound of Rolling in the Deep from the apartment above mine.

Due to my lack of ability to draw anything sexy, I’ll continue to not illustrate my sex dreams.

Context Explanations

The only thing in here that is even remotely close to my past is that I once had a bisexual girlfriend. We never even kissed though, so I only know this through rumors.

Plot Holes

All the parts were I am alone in rooms with women and sexy things happen without anyone getting embarrassed.

Erection?

What do you think?

Analysis

The actual sexual bits are bland due to my lack of hands on experience in this area. Everything was just stuff I’ve considered doing, and have never actually tried. It looks like I blame my family for this lack of opportunities, but I’m pretty sure I fully understand that I have no one to blame but myself. The elbows were probably so that I could make a point of being careful with the girl while I was carrying her. The ending really didn’t improve my opinion of the people upstairs.

Auguries

Take the brunette, leave the blonde.

Mall Mugging

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-03

Dream

I’m heading home from school, and I’m running because running is cool. The people I pass give me weird looks, but I ignore them and keep going. I get to the mall and start running around the side of the building. I get some vague memories of what may have been an earlier dream that took place inside the mall, but nothing specific. At the back of the mall I pass Rueben and a couple other skaters. They ask me to stop, and when I do they try to mug me. Rueben stands behind me with a knife, the leader (who I don’t recognize but is faintly familiar) holds a knife in front of me, and the third kid stands a short distance away with a gun. They ask for my wallet and I hand it to the leader. I trust Rueben not to stab me in the back and I doubt the other kid will use the gun, so when he is distracted by my wallet I grab the leader’s knife. I cut a big slash out of the front of his jacket to let him know I’m serious. He gives back my wallet, and then tries to give me his wallet. I don’t want it and it falls on the ground. The muggers start to run away and I throw the knife on the ground and run the other direction. The leader picks up his knife and I’m worried that he is going to come after me again but he does a butterfly knife trick to close it and follows his friends. I wonder if he is going to retrieve his wallet, but he leaves without it. I overhear Rueben comment that they shouldn’t mug people on Mondays anymore because they always resist. He theorizes that people are more likely to have a death wish on Mondays.

Context Explanations

Rueben was a skater in high school, but he wasn’t the kind of kid who would mug people. He was actually a really nice guy.

Plot Holes

A mall parking lot in broad daylight seems like a bad place to mug people.

Erection?

Vigilantely Yes

Analysis

The beginning part where I'm running is because I've always though it would be cool to run everywhere I go. I’ve never done it because people generally get suspicious when you run for no obvious reason, but I didn’t care about that in the dream, which was cool. The mugging is probably an extension of the brief jolt of fear I get whenever someone I don’t recognize stops me on the street. If I don’t understand why someone wants to talk to me I often assume the worst. I live in South Dakota, so mugging isn’t really what I’m afraid of, but I do assume less violent forms of confrontation. At the very least, conversations will lead to social awkwardness, so I have plenty of negative reinforcement in that area. I feel a little guilty that my dream propagates the stereotype that people who skateboard are criminals but the joke about Mondays sort of makes up for it.

Auguries

Standing up for myself or behaving boldly can turn a bad situation into a good.

Hat Shopping Near the Zoo

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-01

Dream

I’m shopping for a new hat in New York City. I go to a couple different stores but all I can find are hats for the Broncos, the Seahawks, or a local college team. I’m also put off by how stylish all the hats are, and I see how stylish everyone else in the store is so I feel like I don’t belong. I start walking back to my truck which I parked a few blocks away, and run into a girl I have a discussion group with in school. She greets me as “Computer Science Major” since everyone in the group calls me that because I’m good at math, not because that’s my major. I tease them for constantly being on their smart phones sending emails to one another. One email contained an obvious spelling error, so I imply that they are all immaterial and don’t contain anything useful. This context has the feeling of coming from another dream I had earlier. The girl states that she is in a hurry and starts jogging ahead. There is a man (with curly hair) and a woman with her and they start jogging after her. I get a feeling like we are in a race and run to catch up. They happen to be headed to the same place where my truck is parked, but when we get their all the vehicles are missing and police tape is blocking the street. I’m sure that I wasn’t parked illegally and can’t understand why my vehicle would have been towed. The people I was following have walked around the corner so I pass the police barrier and follow them. I still can’t find my truck, but I do see a giant lion charging a police line at the other end of the street. The others are already sprinting down a parking ramp underneath a building, and I do the same. We run down and around a corner and then through a series of doors. Everyone is yelling at me to run faster because the lion is chasing me, but I never look back. At a final set of double doors we stop and lock them. There is a black man inside who is angry at us for almost letting the lion in. He shows us a metal door that the lion attacked and it is extremely battered, with claw punctures that dented it all the way from the other side.

Context Explanations

The Broncos and Seahawks are about to play a Super Bowl in New York. I’ve never been shopping in New York though, and nobody called me Computer Science Major in college.

Plot Holes

Setting up some police tape doesn’t seem like a sufficient way to contain a lion.

Erection?

Fearfully Yes

Analysis

I do get uncomfortable in hat stores. I went to a store I think was called “Lids” once, and it was a very unpleasant experience. The dream also carries my annoyance about the commercialism of the Super Bowl. My vehicle being towed is probably a call back to when I was afraid to park illegal in front of the post office the other day. What the lion represents, I can’t say. It might be a dramatic rendering of social situation, aka Super Bowl Parties, that usually make me want to run away and hide.

Auguries

Peer pressure leads to trouble. I’m better off not following the crowd.

Crazy War Correspondent

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-21

Dream

I’m a reporter working in a war torn country. Also on the crew are Reuben the camera man and his wife, who are Caribbean islanders, a fat producer guy, and another man and woman who are implied at the beginning but don’t really do anything in the dream. We are just kind of hanging out and Reuben is running around doing parkour with the local children. Many of the buildings are partially rubble and have a tendency to break up run across them. Reuben’s wife doesn’t like this and wants him to stop. Reuben then gets turned into a zombie (somehow?!), and his wife wished that he would have been her son and not her husband so that he never would have been turned into a zombie. In a twilight zone style twist, Reuben does become her son, and she freaks out because no one else can remember him being her husband. She then starts wishing him back into an adult, super hard. I begin to remember him as he was and add my wishing powers to hers. We are able to wish Reuben back into a man and he is conveniently not a zombie anymore. Then my subconscious remembers that this wasn’t a supernatural dream, and the Chinese Army shows up to make the country a little more war torn. The fat producer, Reuben, and I make a run it. I complain that I’m not ready for this and I don’t have any pants on, which is based on some half remembered thing from earlier in my dreams when I was stating that I don’t like to wear pants. Then I worry about the absence of our vehicles, but I’m told that the rest of the crew already escaped with our equipment. We get to an escape tunnel and it is a loose dirt tunnel up a steep incline that is just large enough that I could turn around in it if I really curled up (being able to turn around is my threshold for claustrophobia). The producer is leading the way and I’m in the middle with Reuben behind me. We hear the Chinese entering the tunnel behind us and worry that we need to be quiet, but I realize that they can tell someone is inside because of all the loose dirt that we send sliding down the tunnel. The tunnel finally levels out, but then it starts to get narrower. The producer is telling me that if he can fit through then there is no way that I will get stuck, but I’m starting to get claustrophobic anyway.

Context Explanations

I have never known a camera man named Reuben from the Caribbean islands who does parkour, but I want to.

Plot Holes

I want to say that we were in a Balkan country of some sort, and I struggle to understand what the Chinese Army would be doing there.

Erection?

Correspondingly Yes

Analysis

There was a lot of random crap going on in this dream. It started out with me being a sweet war correspondent, then adds some parkour, has a zombie, throws in a twilight zone plot, a communist army invades, I forget to wear pants, and ends on some claustrophobia. I don’t even know where to start an analysis. The dream may represent a startling lack of focus, but it seems more like really terrible screen writing. Well, the most intense moment were when I wished Rueben back into an adult, and the crescendoing feeling of claustrophobia. I’ll say this is a desire to solve my problems with mental effort along, and a feeling that my situation is getting steadily worse. This could describe my trying to make a living of my creative skills and slowly working through my savings as I fail to earn money.

Auguries

A fat man in a tight tunnel is an omen for a situation that one is not suited for. A zombie who does parkour is an omen that I don’t understand, but I bet it’s cool. 

Corporate Corruption

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-15

Dream

A man and a woman decide to exact vigilante justice on a local drug dealer. The dealer in question is operating in a large concrete plaza, with his back to a retaining wall in what could only be described as a shady manner. Our heroes confront him, and then beat him up. The police arrive and the drug dealer is taken away in an ambulance. The man and woman are trying to explain their reasons to the police, but then some high ranking detectives pull them aside. The detectives explain that the dealer was just the tip of the iceberg, and that the real problem is located in the corporate office building at the head of the plaza. The detectives can’t get into the building (not enough evidence to get a warrant sort of thing), so the main characters agree to go in to try to uncover what is going on inside. They just walk right into the building and start wandering around. Past the wide open foyer, and through some labyrinthine shelving, they come to a collection of desks where people are working. Immediately, they notice a nun loading money onto a black duffle bag that looks similar to a bag carried by the dealer they beat up earlier. The female vigilante dumps the bag out and starts asking pointed questions about what it’s for. She turns around and sees another working loading various items into a duffle bag. She then starts shouting to everyone in the office about how she has only been in the building a few minutes and has already noticed two instances of questionable actions. She asks why no one has come forward and exposed the company’s clandestine activities. The woman notices an executive whispering to the fat man who leads the security personnel, and the security forces start deploying around her. Now seems like a good time to leave, and she starts moving back to the building entrance. When she emerges into the foyer, she finds one fat security officer, holding a bow, who is guarding the main building exit and a second who is guarding the hallway to the elevators. She dodges back into the high shelves to avoid arrow fire, and runs deeper into the building. After weaving a complicated escape route through the shelves, she finds another fat guy with a bow guarding the stairs. She is able to get behind him with a feint and descends the stairs into the basement, taking whole flights of stairs in single leaps. Screams are heard as the guards turn on all the panicking workers. The woman runs through the dark basement corridors for a way before entering a shower room to hide. When she passes two frantic women running out of the showers and shouting warnings she drops into a slide and skids across the wet floor. She comes to a stop at the far end of the room without finding any threats. The dream ends with a classic failure to resolve the story.

Context Explanations

My brain was crafting this one out of whole cloth.

Plot Holes

The fact that the woman smuggling money for the corporation was a nun seemed a bit strange. Without explanation the male vigilante simply disappeared from the dream half way through, but he wasn’t really needed in the story anymore I guess. Also, bow wielding security guards seem an odd choice. Maybe they didn’t want gunfire to be heard from outside the building.

Erection?

Excitingly Yes

Analysis

This is my favorite type of dream. These fictional stories created by my subconscious are the reason I started writing these down. The best part is that I’m not in the dreams, and just watch them like a movie. Anyway, this one seems like pretty stereotypical action movie writing. The honorable detectives who are handicapped by their own system are hardly new characters, and corrupt corporations seem to be the favorite villain or our times (evil hackers are also popular, but I’m glad my dream didn’t try to add to the bad reputation that has already been built around the title “hacker”). As for clues about my subconscious that can be pulled from the dream, the fact that all the armed security officers were fat might be telling. It speaks of a distrust of overweight individuals, but also seems to harken to an old video game practice of having similar enemies use the exact same character design.

Auguries

If I find myself being pursued by evil henchman through a shower room I should drop into a slide, because it will look really stupendous.

Runaway Dog in the Woods

Date Dreamed: 2014-01-14

Dream

I’m camping in the woods with my parents and sister. When we wake up in the morning my sister’s dog Ziggy has run away. He has a tracking device on him, but it doesn’t seem to be working. After some searching we find his collar with the tracking device and it has a puncture straight through it the size of a dog’s tooth. We eventually find him, and then discuss the best way to put a tracking device on him that he can’t get rid of. I think we should dress him in a three piece suit with the tracker hidden in the tie (not joking). Then dad says something (I forgot what it was when I woke up), and everyone looks at him since it’s totally off the topic of the conversation.

Context Explanations

Still annoyed by Ziggy. My sister doesn’t actually keep a tracking device on him.

Plot Holes

Putting a suit on a dog I guess.

Erection?

Snappily Yes

Analysis

My sister is hyper sensitive about her dog and I tell her that he has run away as a way of getting a rise out of her. This might be why he keeps running away in my dreams. I’ve actually considered teller her to put a tracking device on him, but that just seems like encouraging the madness. Ziggy likes to completely destroy his chew toys, so it’s natural that he would chew up his tracker. I think the suit idea comes from the fact that a tracker is very much spy technology. The natural place to hide something as a spy is in your fancy suit. It’s weird that it wasn’t a tuxedo though.

Auguries

Camping, running away, and destroying a tracking device all suggest escaping. I might need to escape from something in the future.

Hitting Vampires with Folding Chairs

Date Dreamed: 2013-12-19

Dream

I’m running with two other survivors through a warehouse trying to escape some vampires. One of my companions is carrying a folding table and when we get to an overhead door we use it to make a barricade. The opening is wider than the table so we start adding folding chairs next to the table. More survivors start helping us build the barricade (aka waist high line of folded chairs), but now the vampire leader is taking chairs off from the other side. To stop him, I pick up one of the chairs and hit him in the head with it. The chair caused no damage other than messing up his hair. After I've been beating their leader about the head and shoulders for a while the vampires leave the warehouse (for reasons other than fear of folding chairs). Our group of survivors follow them out into an industrial park filled with numerous brick warehouses and grass lawns in between asphalt paths. Five female vampires break off from their pack to slow us down. I engage them, still wielding my folding chair. The vampires can run fast but can't turn well, so the fighting consists of them charging and me sidestepping and hitting them in the back. I'm trying to keep from getting surrounded while also leading them away from my group. One vampire heads towards the other survivors and I pursue. She finds three babies lying on the ground undefended. The dream ends just when things are getting exciting.

Context Explanations

Pure fantasy here.

Plot Holes

Were we in a warehouse full of folding furniture? Why would we follow the vampires that we were just running from? It was also daylight out, so I guess the vampires were daywalkers.

Erection?

Industrially Yes

Analysis

The vampires are my problems and the barricade of folding chairs is my feeble attempts to solve them. When the vampires leave it is the same as when my problems solve themselves, and then I follow because I find the conclusion somewhat unsatisfying.

Auguries

I should try to keep a better weapon than a folding chair handy in case I get attacked by vampires in the future.