Escaping Airports

Dream

I won a guest appearance on Man vs.Wild with Bear Grylls. The environment we are surviving is an airport, specifically how to get out of an airport during a disaster. There is some stuff about how to get through security, but the thing he is actually showing me in the dream is how to put on a hazmat suit while running. First he takes his suit out of the bag (you should never go anywhere without your packaged hazmat suit) and puts the hood over his head. He is then securing the hood to his head with the draw strings, so that the suit will stay on while leaving his arms free. The way he ties the draw strings is very involved, since he is doing it without ever releasing his grip on them. During this entire thing we are running through a busy airport. Bear’s explanations are always deadly serious and intense but everyone keeps looking at us like we’re crazy and I’m having a hard time not breaking into laughter. I notice Nathan (a friend from high school) in the crowd and I give him a shrug to show that I really don’t know what to make of this situation. Bear is going on and on about how people might be trying to get us and they could have biological weapons, and all I can do is smile and nod. He says “I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff” and I think to myself “yeah, I can kind of tell.”

Analysis

I haven’t seen an episode of Man vs. Wild in a long time, but I like the twist my dream put on the show. First, having an unskilled guest on is nice because it limits the survival techniques to things that normal people can actually do (free climbing a sheer cliff isn’t something the average lost hiker is willing to attempt). I also like the idea of surviving in urban situations. To get lost in the jungle you usually have to deliberately go to the jungle, but you never know when you might be in the middle of an urban disaster. The main problem with this, which is shown pretty well in the dream, is that it's hard to actually create the disaster so that you can survive it. We just went to an actual operating airport and pretended like a disaster was happening and this ended up looking farcical.

The dream also shows the problem I have with being serious. I like to maintain a carefree attitude and rarely get work up over anything. A complete sincerity demeanor always appears absurd to me and if I ever behave this way you can be confident that I’m doing it facetiously. It’s more fun to see the humor in everything.

Auguries

I need to start carrying a hazmat suit.

Questionable Similes

Dream

Barkley and I are on a baseball team. I don’t know anyone else we who shows up, and many of them don’t seem to know how to play. Our team is up to bat first and I lead off. I’m able to hit a double. Barkley bats next and hits me home. There is one girl and one guy on the team who are decent players so we put them next in the order. After Barkley gets to home we start making sure everyone else on the team understands the basic mechanics of the game. The girl who can play becomes a sort of coaching assistant, and we have her play catch with a boy who's struggling. He keeps throwing the ball underhand and when we tell him to throw it overhand he says he's worried that she won’t be able to catch a ball with a horizontal trajectory. Barkley tried to show him how to throw, but the kid is left handed and there's an awkward moment when he tried to give his glove to Barkley. Barkley ends up bare hand catching the throw (like a champion), and then demonstrates how to throw the ball. Our assistant is fully capable of catching it. Barkley explains that it's hard to throw very far underhanded since the ball has to travel such a large arc. The boy eventually understands and relates that the extra distance in an underhand throw is like if you had a club, but you used most of the space in the building for closets instead of dance floor. Barkley and I share a look expressing that we agree that the simile does explain the situation, but it isn’t one that we would have chosen. The dream skips to the end of the game and everyone is leaving. The semi-skilled girl and guy from our team are alone in the dugout and the guy introduces himself as Jeek. He does this in a way obviously intended to begin further relations with the girl. He delivers his name with a cool confidence that shows he understands how weird it is, but that it doesn’t bother him. She blows him off as a dork and walks away. When she walks past me I try to defend Jeek and ask why she rebuffed him. She says “Any girl that is interested in him would have to be tighter than Mt. Everest.” I piece this together to mean that Mt. Everest is some sort of screw to be turned, and the tightness on the girl implies virginity brought on by dorkiness.

Analysis

This whole setup is reminiscent of my curling experiences. Attendance to curling usually consists of a few regulars, who show up every week, and then a mix of people who are new to the game or have only been there once or twice before. It is a sort of unspoken responsibility of those of us who are considered “good” at the game to show everyone else how to play. Luckily curling is a simple game (at least at our level of play), and it’s still interesting even when many of the people playing aren’t very skilled. I don’t think the same could really be said of baseball, but this was a dream after all and it never really showed how our new players ended up performing. 

Jeek getting shot down is related to the annoyance I feel for people who completely dismiss things due to some perceived trait. This applies to people who dislike all video games on principle (although they often play games like Angry Birds or the like themselves, which are as much video games as any other, just not as sophisticated); those who won’t watch any movie more than 20 years old, since they assume it will be boring; and especially anybody who avoids something that has been labeled as nerdy, regardless of any other merits. The worst part is that the reasons for dismissing these things seems to be completely arbitrary. I mean, a nerdy label is usually based on a passionate fan base (there can also be an intellectual or esoteric aspect, but not necessarily), which only seems to indicate quality.  This is not to say that I’m not guilty of this offense (I won’t watch Johnny Depp movies for reasons that are far from justifiable).

Auguries

I’m going to take this as a sign that no matter how good I am at curling, it’s not going to impress any women.

Break Away Blocker

Dream

I’m playing football in junior high. The game consists of my team having one break away play after another. I’m keep running with the ball carriers in case anyone tries to tackle them, but the other team is usually far behind. This happens a few times with different players scoring the touchdown (one of them Eric who was one of the fasted kids in the state, but I was somehow keeping up with him). After we get to the end zone I always hit them on the shoulder pads and shouted congratulations. Strangely, the field we're playing in is actually three fields in a U shape, with a steel building in the middle. The final break away play that I remember had Brooks running the ball (he was always a little faster than me in school), and Ryan was running as a blocker with me. We are way out ahead of anyone chasing us, so we aren’t running at full speed. I periodically look back and call out the distance of the nearest pursuer is getting, which is never closer than 30 yards. After scoring we walk through the building to get back to our team since they're on the other side of the U. The opposing coach is standing in the overhead doorway of the building, and I hear him complain about how badly they are losing.

Analysis

When I played football I always enjoyed running with the breakaway plays. It was something I did just because I could. I was one of the faster kids on the team, but I couldn’t catch, so I ended up playing on the line. The most exciting thing I could do on offense was to make a block to ensure a touchdown, so that's what I always tried to do. During break away plays it seemed like most people would just acknowledge that they are out of the action and stop trying, but I always ran to catch up. This usually resulted in the ball carrier and I running by ourselves but I always hoped something exciting would happen. Nobody ever pulled a hamstring and fumbled the balls so that I would have to run it in, and there was never a world champion sprinter on the other team that I had to slow down, but I was always ready. In sports, I always have the most fun when I'm doing something. Why would I stand around for half the play when I could be sprinting down field? If I'm playing center field and there is a grounder to the pitcher, I still run to the infield in case of an overthrow or anything like that. I don't see the point of just relaxing in the outfield and watching the play happen without trying to be a part of it. Back to break away plays in football, I also enjoyed getting into the end zone on scoring plays. I’m not certain if I was trying to share some of the glory or make it look like I was helping, but I always wanted to be there.

Auguries

Following in the footsteps of others will lead to success, but we may need to travel farther than normal. 

Parking Lot Pursuit

Dream

I’m attending college, but it’s taking place in my old elementary school building, and all the people are from high school (basically all of my school experiences mixed together). It starts in Mr. Hladky’s P.E. class, and we are playing softball. Kirk (twin #1) and I are captains, and I pick Ryan (close friend) and Adam (twin #2) to be on my team. Kirk picks a team with most of the traditionally athletic kids on it, but my team still ends up winning. Later we are finished with class for the day and Kirk and I are discussing our plans for the future. It is near the end of the school year and we are also close to graduating. Kirk says that he only needs to take two P.E. classes next semester to graduate, and I comment on how easy that is going to be. We somehow find ourselves in Mr. Gunderson’s math class. Mr. Gunderson is sitting at a desk in the middle of the room and is tossing a ball into the air and hitting it with bat. Students are scattered around the room working and the ball is flying over their heads and bouncing off walls but they don’t seem bothered. I catch the ball and refuse to give it back to Mr. Gunderson in a cheeky manner. Trisha is there (a girl I had a massive crush on in high school) but I’m too awkward to acknowledge her. I leave Kirk there and head for the exit. I realize that I still have Mr. Gunderson’s ball, so I go back into his class and set it on Kirk's desk. Back in the hallway I find Nathan, Brad, and others (high school acquaintances) walking in a group. I walk with them and just before exiting the building they all break into a run. I do the same, but soon realize that they are running from another group of kids (which includes Chase, who had one of the strongest personalities in school) and by joining them I have become guilty by association. When I blow through the doors I start heading for my truck which is parked fairly close to the building. In doing this I separate myself from the other kids, who run to the far end of the lot. The pursuing kids all follow me, likely due to some predatory instinct to single out your prey. I jump in my truck and quickly start the engine, but the vehicle is already surrounded. They are banging on the sides and rocking the vehicle back and forth (I don’t feel physically threatened and only think they are trying to embarrass me), but I’m able to pull out and start driving through the parking lot. I drive at a speed much too high for how many people are present and for some reason the speed increases my turning radius by a ridiculous amount. My tires are squealing while I struggle to make it around the turns in the lot, but I have to stop before I hit some parked cars. The person in charge of parking tickets is standing before me. He stares me down and shakes his head at my reckless driving, and I worry that the kids chasing me are going to catch up while I’m stopped.

Analysis

I’ve always dismissed the appearances of Kirk and Adam in these dreams as just people I used to know, but the frequency that these identical twins are appearing hints at deeper meaning. These two had nearly opposite personalities while having very similar physical appearances. This indicates a certain duality of personality and the strength of outside influences on how a person behaves. I can’t put anything specific to this idea but I think there’s something to it. Softball makes another appearance, which isn’t surprising. It is my favorite sport, I took a softball class in college, and I was the captain of a rec-league team for a couple years. Trisha is probably here as a bridge between softball and math class since I had memorable interactions with her in both those settings (she was on my team one year, and we used to play cards instead of doing math work). Mr. Gunderson was a good target for my attitude of senioritis. As a senior I assumed a very cocky and cavalier attitude, and my close relationship with Mr. Gunderson only increased this behavior. I had a feeling that I had learned everything that the school had to offer and this gave me plenty of confidence. The chase scene at the end of the dream shows my feelings about joining groups. When you associate yourself with people you can become answerable for their actions, even if those actions took place before you joined them. This is why I don’t like joining clubs or organizations. I want people to judge me solely on my own behavior and not on some preconceptions for a group I belong to.

Auguries

Based on the softball game, an underdog will come out on top.

Author's Note: We've had a format change to reduce redundancy, unneeded information, and lame puns. 

Scavenger Hunt and Cupcakes

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-20

Dream

Barkley, Anna, Kyle, Shane, and I are engaged in some sort of scavenger hunt. We have maps or list and are looking for various items that were hidden by our parents. The environment is all flat surfaces and right angles made of some white stone. There are plateaus, pillars, ditches, ledges, and overhangs in abundance. It becomes outrageously windy, to the point where it's hard to stand. Kyle and Shane have been  searching together but are in danger from the wind. Kyle is about to be blown away, but Shane is pinned down and can’t help. I’m heavier than Kyle, so I can slowly walk over and pull him to a place where he can get out of the wind. I have figured out where two of the hidden treasures are and make a deal with Barkley. We will each go find one item each and then split both between us. I need to leap over a gap in a bridge that crosses a chasm to reach some large double doors set into a cliff wall. Inside is the item from Kyle’s family, which turns out to be some banana bread. I know that Barkley succeeds in getting his item without actually seeing him, and I also know that Anna found the one from my family. We had possibly intended this beforehand, and may have given her a tip on where to find it. I see Kyle pole vault up onto a plateau and I do likewise. On the plateau, everyone is meeting at some kitchens. The teachers are there and the hunt is apparently over. Now everyone is going to make cupcakes. My aunt Libby is running things and the cupcakes are for my grandma. All the kids are supposed to work for two minutes apiece, and I convince Barkley to take the first shift with me. I state that the beginning is the easiest part, but I still worry that everyone will judge me for being too eager (making cupcakes isn’t the most manly or impressive act I guess).

Context Explanations

Barkley, Anna, Kyle, and Shane were all friends of mine from grade school. My aunt Libby and my grandma are both accomplished bakers.

Plot Holes

The scavenger hunt seemed sort of dangerous for unsupervised children. I also don’t think that I was any heavier than Kyle, considering that he was taller than me.

Erection?

Boxily Yes

Analysis

The only thing that I’m real sure about is that the banana bread is in there because one of my house mates gave me a loaf of same the other day. The setting was sort of like the map Hang ‘Em High in the original Halo game, but whiter and a lot more random. Nothing else in the dream has any clear meaning for me. The hunt could suggest that I want to find something, possibly tied to family or my elders. Saving Kyle from the wind may mean that I want to help someone. The cupcakes might show that I want to do something, but am afraid of what people will think. All these could just as easily be semi-random creations of my sub conscious.

Auguries

I’ll succeed in my goals with the help of others, and shouldn’t be afraid to help those who need it.

Part of the Show

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-19

Dream

I wake up on the floor after some partying (I may or may not have passed out). While I was unconscious, my hand has been propped up and a microphone was placed in it. Chippy D, an arena rocker, is singing into this microphone during his performance. I start making jokes with a nearby groupie about how my arm has been turned into a microphone stand. Chippy spits while he is singing, and when some hits my arm the women comments on this with faux-outrage. He eventually takes the microphone back and I sarcastically thank him for letting me hold it. The groupie then starts making advances towards me. I’m being coy about this, but am happy about it.

Context Explanations

I was convinced that Chippy D was an actual singer from a rock band when I woke up, but upon later reflection I know this isn’t the case.

Plot Holes

I was actually engaging in passable flirting with a woman, and it was effective.

Erection?

Rockingly Yes

Analysis

I must say that using a passed out audience member for a microphone stand is a very metal move. When I pointed out the plot hole, the fact that I was able to flirt with the groupie wasn’t the improbable part. If I have some sort of external stimulus that I can comment on, I’m typically capable of conversation with strangers. These strangers can even be female. Sports are usually my go to for this purpose, but being utilized in a rock show could also work. The improbable part was that it got a non-plutonic response. I can make jokes and exchange sarcastic banter, but I can’t do the more lascivious type of flirting. What I do can hardly be called flirting I guess, since usually only leads to friendships, if anything. I also kind of got the feeling that the girl was only interested in me due to a perceived connection between me and Chippy D, so there’s that.

Auguries

Don’t pass out near an active hair metal band.  

Late to Work at the Flower Factory

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-18

Dream

I work at some sort of flower distribution business. We cut and arrange flowers in a sort of factory anyhow. I’m walking to work in the morning, and the weather is overcast and somewhat hazy. There are plenty of other people out walking and we are all converging at the bridge over the river. I stop at the pedestrian traffic jam formed by this bottleneck and the person in front of me turns around. He starts insisting that I take out some sort of loan from him. This guy is clearly shady and it looks like he has some henchman in the crowd. I refuse his persistent requests and get so uncomfortable that I leave the sidewalk and start walking away through the grass. It's very muddy and slippery and I have to work just to keep from falling down. I meet my friend Ryan, who also works at the flower factory. We walk to work together and spend some time outside cleaning our shoes before we go inside. When we finally enter we are late for work. A broadcast system announces that two of the workers who were supposed to be stationed at the gift shop haven’t arrived yet, so that department is understaffed. Ryan and I understand that the two missing workers are us, and realize that we are needed in the gift shop. The factory works on some sort of daily work rotation that is unannounced ahead of time. Before we enter the shop we make two new flower displays as a sort of excuse for what we were doing and why we are late. When we walk in the gift shop we find the two women who will be working with us (because apparently four people are needed to run this place). The gift shop consists of various fancy displays of flowers and other decorations scattered around the room on shelves and plinths. The women, one of whom is Alaina, tell us that nobody has been in yet so it doesn’t really matter that we were late. Ryan and I add our newly created bouquets to the other displays. Mine is a gift specifically for the parents of newborn twins. It consists of a tiny leather couch and some water balloons. The balloons have happy messages written on them. The big one in the middle say “We Wanted Twins and We Got Twins”, and a smaller balloon say “Two Wins” (as a sort of pun on the word twins). The shelf I set the couch on isn’t very stable and the balloons keep rolling off. After trying to keep the balloons stationary for a while, one of them develops a hole and starts leaking water. I start to panic and attempt to pinch the hole shut, but all my efforts just make the problem worse. Since the tiny couch is leather I’m making a big deal about getting it wet. My fellow workers tell me just to pop the balloon but I keep insisting that I can’t do that on the leather couch. The situation is getting increasingly out of hand and now water is spraying all over the place and not just on the couch. I try to direct the stream of water into my mouth as a way of containing it, but I only manage to get myself soaking wet. I pick up the balloon and start running for the bathroom. The water finally stops flowing right at the entrance to the bathroom, and I collapse from a combination of frayed nerves and a sense of defeat. At that moment some customers arrive at the gift shop. The others try to distract them as I dejectedly drag myself into the bathroom to hide. I hear the customers make and inquiry about why there is water everywhere and one of my female coworkers pokes her head into the bathroom to check on me. I’m lying curled up on the floor, broken and defeated.

Context Explanations

Ryan and Alaina are friends of mine from high school.

Plot Holes

That was an outrageous amount of water to be coming out of one balloon.

Erection?

Despondently Yes

Analysis

This dream might seem very downbeat, but it was actually played with a more comedic tone. It was reminiscent of an I Love Lucy sketch, where a seemingly small problem steadily escalates to absurd levels. My actions at the end were a deliberate overstatement of my emotions. Exaggerating my feelings was a way of getting in on the joke. Less reaction would show that my pride had actually been hurt, and trying to pretend it was a big deal would be a sign that my self-esteem needed to be shielded from damage. By playing up the situation I acknowledge that it was funny, and excepted that my behavior had been humorous if not taken seriously. The part with the unrelenting usurer was a combination of my fear of confrontation with strangers and my dislike for being in debt. I think the whole idea of the flower factory grew from hearing someone say they bought a cooking spice from a flower shop, and now my understandings of the limits of that business have been thrown into question.

Auguries

We had mud on shoes and water on a leather couch. This speaks of something fancy of expensive being dirtied or damaged. 

Flipping Turtles and Shooting Coyotes

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-16

Dream

These are actually two separate dreams, but I’m only doing one write up since they are both so short. The first dream was about my sister's turtle. His name was Patches, and we were letting him roam around the vegetable garden. I ask what he’s doing and my sister says “He is clipping the asperagus”, but when I look, I see him flipped over onto his back. I place him back on his feet and he starts moving in a swimming motion through the semi-muddy dirt. My sister says “He’s going to call the pile that flipped him over ‘misses’”. I guess he got put on his back by climbing a steep pile of dirt and rolled off of it, and this is somehow analogous to a wife?

A coyote show up in our yard and my dad gives me a bolt action .22 to shoot it with. I deliver a few carefully aimed shots to its head, but it is still running around the yard. The animal is suddenly a bobcat and is showing signs of dying. I keep shooting it but get worried that the barrel of my gun is going to overheat.

Context Explanations

My sister and I had some pet turtles as children, but I don’t think any were named Patches. Never been coyote hunting.

Plot Holes

I know my dad has better guns for shooting coyotes than a .22.

Erection?

Accurately Yes

Analysis

Some mixed messages about the treatment of animals. At first I’m helping one, and then I’m shooting another in the head, multiple times. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for turtles, and it is hard not to be sympathetic to a creature stuck on its back. Turtles also make great pets, as long as you’re not looking for something cuddly. On the other hand, coyotes and bobcats are not nearly as well regarded. They are considered pests in the part of the country where I live, and are often killed on site. The shooting I do in the dream was reminiscent of prairie dog hunting. This is something I’ve done with my dad before and it involves both careful aim and problems with barrels heating up; not to the point where the guns were damaged and not with .22s, but it was something we worried about for accuracy on longer shots. These dreams seem to show that I will help those who need it, but will also harm those that deserve it.

Auguries

I’ve already established that a turtle means I should stay home, but the addition of some small predators adds an element of danger. The weather isn’t very nice today so I think I’ll comply.

Driving with Dad

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-15

Dream

I’m riding in a car while my dad drives. By driving, I mean that he is doing some intense rallycross on dirt roads through forested hills, complete with plenty of power sliding and Scandinavian flicks. I’m reading a new Neal Stephenson novel. The characters work in L.A. and they are name dropping all the famous people they have worked with. An Iva is mentioned, and I get excited because I think it’s an Iva Davies reference. I’m super impressed that the book would mention one of my obscure interests. Dad is getting increasingly wild with his driving and we are sliding off the trail and bumping into a few trees. We are in a Ford Escape which I used to drive for work, and I hated it, so I don’t care that we are causing damage to the vehicle. I continue reading and find out that Iva is actually some woman who I’ve never hear of. All my happy feelings about obscure references relevant to my interests are shattered. At this point we start sliding out of control, spin around and crash into a tree backwards, and then somehow hit another tree going forwards. Black smoke can be seen billowing out of the hood and we are worried that we may have broken the car. The vehicle is pointed down an incline and we both get out to push it away from the tree. My dad has me get in and hold down the brakes so it won’t roll forward while he inspects the front end. The dream ends while I’m pressing the brake pedal to the floor with both feet, hoping they don’t give out.

Context Explanations

I’m currently reading Reamde by Neil Stephenson, and am a fan of Icehouse, whose lead singer is Iva Davies.

Plot Holes

I’m unsure how we were able to smash both the back and front ends of the vehicle in one crash. It is also impressive that I was able to read a book while engaging in motor sport.

Erection?

Wreckingly Yes

Analysis

I am practically obsessed with obscure references. I do things like watch movies, just so I can understand references from other movies. I dislike “popular at the moment” references. Celebrity worship or corporate aggrandizement are things I just can’t stand. In the book Reamde there are a lot of references to things like Google and World of Warcraft that I find kind of annoying. Sure they help establish the story in our current world, but I’m not sure if that is a good thing. For one, it really dates a piece of work so that it will be harder to understand outside of the time it was written. These references also carry a lot of context from experiences of my own life, which I feel can damage the story. I prefer books that exist in their own world. Building unique and interesting worlds is what I like so much about science fiction and fantasy, and if I want to hear stories based in the world I live in I can just read the news. All the rally driving stuff might be based on some of the reckless driving I used to do on dirt roads while working. I never got too crazy in the Escape, but I ended up in the ditch a couple times with our Impala (which was another vehicle I didn’t like that much).

Auguries

Letting someone else steer my path could lead to problems.

Coins for Crystals

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-14

Dream

This one is long and wandering, so bear with me. I start out at a class trip in sixth grade. We are staying at a hotel for the night, since it is apparently a multi-day thing. I’m in the basement with a couple of elderly people and find a large amount of change on the floor. I get the idea that I could use the coins to have a poker game with my classmates (I happen to be carrying playing cards). The old man helps me pick up the coins and there is more than enough for poker so I split the money with the man. On my way back to the lobby where all the other kids are hanging out I run into Kirk. I ask if he wants to play poker, but he seems apprehensive. When I tell him that I found a bunch of coins so that nobody has to use their own money he is much more willing to play. In the lobby I try to find more people to join us, but everyone else is busy with their own activities. Later we get on the bus to drive to our next historical site, or whatever our class is touring, and I still want to play poker. Nobody sits next to me on the bus and I don’t have the courage to ask anyone. I figure the bus might be a little too bumpy anyway. Next I’m fighting some evil crystalline aliens (with no transition to speak of). Some giant alien is apparently threatening Earth, and I’m battling him on a floating disc or crystal. I end up pounding him through the floor of the disc with a giant hammer and save the earth. I find the alien’s mother clinging to the broken edge of the disc and drained of all energy after he son’s defeat. I notice she has a bag of gem stones and when I ask her about them she explains that they have little value to her people (being made of crystal and what not). I offer to trader her my coins for the gems, and she jumps at the idea since she finds metal far more precious. Now I’m at a family reunion (huh?). I get the idea that my father once worked for the same company that I did, but this doesn’t make any sense and I struggle trying to figure out which office he would have been at. Then I give the gems to my cousins Brett and Trevor. They use the gems to gamble and make a bunch of money. Trevor meets a woman at the casino and they fall in love. Brett shows up and the woman instantly falls in love with him instead, and Trevor is hurt and mad at his brother. Later, we are eating in a cafeteria and I am obsessing about setting up chairs and trays for everyone. I don’t know how many people will be joining me and there is a policy where you need to stack the chairs and trays that you aren’t using. Eventually I’m joined by Brett, Trevor, Leah, Nick, and a two foot tall amoeba who can sit in a chair (the amoeba was even at the head of the table). Everybody finishes their lunch and leaves except for Nick, who help me put the chairs away. Then we hear that everyone is coming back so we have to place the chairs out again.

Context Explanations

We did have a class trip in sixth grade, but it was just a day trip. I carry a deck of playing cards now, but I didn’t back then. I was a big fan of poker in grade school, specifically five card three-two draw. Sixth grade was the year I moved between schools, hence the lack of friends, but Kirk was in my class and was always nice to me. Brett and Trevor are older cousins of mine and are brothers. Leah was a girl from early grade school, and Nick was from junior high.

Plot Holes

Why are we eating lunch with a giant amoeba? Also, it wasn’t very clear if I just left the alien's mother to fall to her death or not.

Erection?

Meanderingly Yes

Analysis

There is a pretty good mix of books, shows, and video games I’ve experienced in the recent past popping up here. Cutting all that stuff out, we’re left with some loose change, questions about my father’s work history, and setting up cafeteria chairs. The money might be a combination of the fact that I like to carry enough coins to make exact change and also that I recently made a chess set out of coins. I can’t say why I found the money on the floor in the basement of a hotel while elderly people were present. My dad and I went to the same college, but never worked for the same company. I did get a job with an uncle, so I think I just got all of that mixed up in the dream and this confused me as I knew the facts were false. The lunch scene is a little more analyzable. I always get anxious before social gatherings because I can’t be sure of how people will behave. Perfect preparations are hard to accomplish when you can’t even be sure who will show up. Having everything planned and understood ahead of time is just something I always try to do. This anxiety is the reason that I tend to avoid loose social gathers. I prefer things like sports, where you have a set time to arrive and specific actions to perform.

Auguries

I should stay on the lookout for an advantageous trade opportunity, possibly with a woman in need. 

Dr. Who Fan Fiction

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-13

Dream

I’m traveling with the Dr. and we get split up while running away from some robots. I arrive at the TARDIS alone and close the doors behind me. A seemingly friendly robot was following me and starts pleading from behind the doors. It's saying nothing but nice things, but I know that if it catches me it will kill me. I have to use the TARDIS before it gets through the doors, and end up near Abraham Lincoln. The Dr. and I have already had two adventures involving Lincoln but I’m not happy about it since during them I developed a morphine addiction and became pregnant (not as a women, but Junior style). I’m still mad about these as they are ongoing problems that the Dr. hasn’t fixed yet. Anyway, we are at a military fort, where Lincoln is illegally stockpiling arms before the start of the civil war. I already know many of the officers from previous adventures, so I have a good sense of what’s going on. It's night and I’m flying around (without any vehicle) observing everything from above without anyone noticing me. One of the officers is going to have a sword duel with some member of an evil conspiracy group in the forest outside the fort. I perch high in a tree and watch the dual start. The other onlookers complain that the starlight is too even (whatever that means) and start hanging up lights. A Native American guide climbs the tree I’m in to turn on some lights and almost catches me. He aims some multi-colored lights and the duelers and then starts setting up a large spot light on a pole. When the spot light comes on it sweeps over me briefly and people notice me floating in the air. I retreat as everyone starts freaking out as they think witches are attacking.

Context Explanations

I watched all the Dr. Who on Netflix recently. I only watched the new series, as the classic stuff was a little to dated for my taste.

Plot Holes

My history seems a little questionable, but I’ve just learned that morphine was around during the American Civil War and that addictions were common (I looked it up on Wikipedia while writing this). The male pregnancy doesn’t make sense though. I’ll just assume it had something to do with aliens.

Erection?

Covertly Yes

Analysis

I was always slightly off put by how England-centric, and often London-centric, Dr. Who was, so I’m glad that my story involved someone else’s history. Sure, I just replaced it with an American bias, but you use the history you know. Friendly robots don’t seem like a terrible villian. They were strangely threatening since the just want to do stuff like give you a hug, but that hug would crush the life out of you. My behavior of stealthily observing history was nothing like a standard Dr. Who story. Without having the Dr. around I guess I wasn’t up to blatantly inserting myself into the action. My flying around seems like something that could be accomplished with some sweet future technology, but it would provide an easy way out of so many problems that it seems like a really bad idea drama-wise. I also smell some Assassins Creed III rip offs. The observation from a tree and the evil conspiracy group are very similar to that game.

Auguries

I should be careful about getting addicted to morphine and very careful not to get pregnant. The Dr. isn’t going to solve these problems for me.

Santa Squid

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-13

Dream

A Santa is cleaning up the workshop after all the Santas were having a party (this is the secret of Christmas). As he leaves an evil grey candy cane comes alive and is threatening to cause problems. It is trying to steal some other special candy cane, possibly? The Santa races to grab the good candy cane and throws it out the door and onto the frozen lake. It fails to break through the ice so he grabs another handful of stuff and tosses it onto the ice as well. This succeeds in breaking the ice and the good candy cane is made safe from the evil one. Now stuff gets even weirder, and the Santa freaks out and makes a running dive into the lake. When he hits the water he turns into a giant red squid thing. It swims through the water and gets a feeling of being in its natural habitat and where it belongs. The dream then starts playing the dive over and over again; not as a replay, but more of a reliving, like the Santa is stuck in a “Groundhog’s Day” sort of loop. The Santa tries to dive in the correct way so that he won’t have to repeat it anymore. The focus is on trying to hit the exact spot where the piece of candy cane sunk into the water.

Context Explanations

It’s been over a month and a half since Christmas, so I’m can’t say where this is coming from.

Plot Holes

Absolutely everything going on made no sense whatsoever.

Erection?

Bizarrely Yes

Analysis

I wish I could say I was on medication to explain this one, but a heat pack is the most extreme remedy I’ve partaken in recently. The fact that there are Santas and candy canes is the only related part of the whole dream, unless you count a frozen lake as Christmassy. The ice lake could have to do with when I went ice fishing a while ago or with my weekly game of curling. Diving repeatedly and trying to hit a precise spot could also be curling, since it involves trying to slide stones onto the center of a target. The part about diving into the water and turning into a squid is completely beyond my understanding. The feeling of belonging seemed like a good sign.

Auguries

Something needs to be done just so, and then things will be where they belong.

Music Video Musts

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-11

Dream

I lost most of this dream when I was waking up, but I think it’s worth sharing anyway. I didn’t really have the lucid realization that I was dreaming, so I failed to hold this one in my mind as I woke up. The dream was presented to me by Hank Green so I fully believed in it as fact and confused it for reality. Anyway, the subject of the dream was necessary aspect of music videos. There were three rules, each for a specific genre of music. The one I remember best was that 80’s music videos have to have Jennifer Grey in them. I’m fuzzy on the genre, but I think for country music you were supposed to dance with your back to the camera. The last one retreated back to my subconscious, but it may have concerned rap videos.

Context Explanations

Hank Green teaches me things on the internet. I trust what he tells me to the point where I will accept dream logic as fact. Jennifer Grey was in some iconic 80’s movies.

Plot Holes

I don’t think making videos for music that is over 20 years old is something that people need rules for.

Erection?

Unquestionably Yes

Analysis

Music videos are something that I enjoy very much. I always thought my rules would be that you should jump sideways into frame and sing directly into the camera, film on some sort of industrial location, and tell a story that has as little to do with the contents of the song as possible. It was nice to see Jennifer Grey show up. I like when my celebrity cameos are very specific to my obscure tastes. She may have even started out the dream as Jennifer Beals, but then changed to Grey part way through. This is slightly odd, because I’ve seen Flashdance, but never Dirty Dancing.

Auguries

I need to assume a slightly more skeptical posture toward information from Hank Green. It’s screwing up my dream lucidity.

Nursing to Nudists

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-10

Dream

I’m the only doctor in a small, possibly southern, town. I’m walking down the main street with a boy beside me. A seventeen year old girl walks up to us and she is completely naked. I tell the boy not to look, but he is at the age that there is no possibly way that he could not look. The girl starts asking me for help and is describing a problem, but her accent is so thick that I can’t understand her. At first I think she is describing troubles with her throat and I look into her mouth. This greatly offends her, which is odd for someone standing naked on a public street. Eventually I figure out that she is describing problems with her heart. Through some magical doctor powers, by putting my ear to her chest I’m able to determine that she has fluid around her heart and a buildup of blood platelets. I’m shocked that someone so young would have problems this severe, and realize that she must live in very poor conditions. When I inform the father about his daughter’s health issues, he thinks it would be best not to interfere and let her die. Everyone else I talk to agrees with this since she doesn’t have much to live for and they don’t see the loss in one less poor person. I resent everyone for giving up hope in this young girl, and am determined to help her no matter what.

Still not drawing naked women, and there really wasn’t anything else in this dream.

Context Explanations

I’ve never even been to the south, unless you count Texas.

Plot Holes

Making a complex diagnosis without any equipment is not solid medical practice in my opinion. I could have at least done an ultrasound or something.

Erection?

Medically Yes

Analysis

I’ve been reading “To Kill A Mockingbird” and heavily borrowed the plot for this dream. I’m a doctor instead of a lawyer, and there is no racial element, but I’m still the lone man in a southern town trying to defend the disadvantaged. I’m fairly certain that the girl was naked just so I could tell the boy not to do something and then have him do it anyway, which is a common occurrence in the book. It was also implied that she was so rural that she didn’t know any better.

Auguries

The heart is the source of the problem, and not the throat. I should focus on what people feel, and not on what they say.

Motel Murderer

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-07

Dream

I’m sleeping in a hotel room (I changed the title for alliterative purposes). During the night I get the impression that someone is in the room and they are threatening to murder me. The next day when I tell people about this they assume I was dreaming. I conduct research into some guy, who hates me for unspecified reasons, and find that he has access to the key card machine where I am staying. Motive and opportunity still aren’t enough evidence to convince anyone that I’m in danger. That night I wake up to the feeling of being misted with water in my bed. It's raining outside and my assailant has opened the windows in my hotel room. I stir but don’t open my eyes. He notices my movement and closes the window since he doesn’t actually want to wake me up. Assuming I’m still asleep, he starts talking to me. He's describing when and how he is going to kill me and reveling in his power over my seemingly unconscious and helpless form. I continue to lie still and motionless and wish that I had my tape recorder to gather evidence against him. As he leaves he opens the windows again and turns on a light to provide clear evidence of his presence, as a way of tormenting me. When he's gone I get up and close the window and turn the light off again. I consider bolting the door from now on, but that would tip him off and I still wanted to gather more concrete evidence. Later, I get a threat filled email from him, which isn’t a very subtle way to commit murder.

Context Explanations

I sleep with a tape recorder next to my bed. That is how I initially record these dreams.

Plot Holes

Power hungry sociopaths are usually depicted as criminal masterminds, but this one seems pretty ham fisted.

Erection?

Spookily Yes

Analysis

This wasn’t a nightmare since I can’t remember being scared at any time during the dream. I was exasperated when nobody believed me, and I was mostly intrigued by my would be murderer. The whole thing seemed like a hip TV show crime investigation, and I completely failed to act like I was the intended victim. At my old job I used to stay in hotels when working in the field. My boss once told me a story about another guy in the company who was continuously threatened by one of the workers on a field job. I would guess this is what inspired the dream, although an excavator was not the promised instrument of my demise.

Auguries

Maybe I should start locking my door, but nah.

Catapult Cavalry

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-06

Dream

We are arrayed before our castle preparing for a battle. I’m with the cavalry, so naturally we are all sitting on horses and wearing cowboy hats. Some extra supplies arrive so we start handing them around. We’ve received warm gloves and beanie hats. Everyone around me already has gloves, so I give one extra pair to each person. The hats are flowery and pink and people are reluctant to wear them. They aren’t the sort of thing that will inspire fear in our enemies, but we want to use them anyway. The beanies are placed over the crowns of our cowboy hats, and everyone is trying to find a way to align them so that the flowers don’t show. As I’m passing out the last of the gloves I notice that the second half of our outfit don’t have any gloves, so I have to take back the ones that I’ve already giving away. When we head out to the battle we are suddenly on catapults. I head out to the front of the castle, but the gate is closed. Everyone else went around the back of the castle were they are able to get inside. I’m worried that someone is going to shot me off my catapult so they can use it against us. I’m considering if I can make it to the back of the castle before the other army arrives, when the dream ends.

Context Explanations

Where I live, people on horses wear cowboy hats. I’m not sure why.

Plot Holes

Why didn’t we just wear the beanies under the cowboy hats?

Erection?

Warmly Yes

Analysis

It has been cold recently so I’ve been wearing my hat and gloves. My hat is white and doesn’t have any flowers on it though. Everything else seems like Age of Empires II self-insertion.

Auguries

Stick with the crowd, or I may find myself alone in a bad situation.