Wild Weather

Dream

I’m watching a newscast. The first part I can remember is a weather story with a team of storm chasers in the field. They're tracking some phenomenon and broadcasting live, but it hasn’t shown up yet so they switch over to another story. Some footage about a revolution in Eastern Europe starts. It shows a crowd gathered in a public square and there is a bunch of people standing on top of a bus holding a banner written in a language I don’t understand. The news mentions that they overthrew the tyrannical government and received aid from some of the neighboring democratic countries. I think to myself that revolutions like this have been happening a lot lately and that maybe this is a result of our global technology level. Something like how the ease of communication is making democracy the natural form of government. They switch back to the storm chasers because the strange weather system has finally arrived. The storm chasers are in a kind of tricked out van and are parked in a residential neighborhood looking at some shale bluffs. There is some excited talk as they say the phenomenon is coming over the hill and the camera shows a small but very intense cyclone moving down the bluff. The commentary states that this sort of thing has only ever been seen in the upper atmosphere before. The cyclone moves into the back yard of a house and picks up a child’s toy. Now a big pink and yellow cloth flower thing is spinning in the center, giving the storm a more defined shape (and also making it look kind of silly). Readings from the various instruments on the van are being rattled off, with wind speeds of a couple hundred miles an hour and a temperature of 5000° F in the core. This temperature sounds ridiculous and one of the storm chasers says that they are “checking the physics” on that temperature. The cyclone continues to move around the van, and they come back to say that a temperature of 5000° isn’t physically possible and the measurement must be a bad reading. Next it shows a mailman standing in shocked surprise as the cyclone moves within about 20 feet of him. As the storm moves past the side of his body facing it is terribly burned. He collapses to the ground with singed clothes and all the hair on one side of his face is burnt away and blister instantly appear (this is my brain telling me it’s a third degree burn). I’m shocked and the guys in the van talk about how the temperature reading is apparently correct. The camera only stays on the mailman for a moment before continuing to follow the storm. I start getting mad that nobody helps the mailman because he was sort of reaching towards the van as the camera pulled away. The new people comment that he's getting up and walking away and I feel a little better knowing that he can walk but still think that maybe they should have tried to help him rather than just continue to watch the weather, no matter how scientifically important it is. Then a doorbell starts ringing, because it’s actually 2:30 and I’m taking a nap and they guy is here to put salt in the water softener.

Analysis

This is one of my dreams that exists somewhere between lucid dreaming and hallucination. It happened after I had woken up from sleeping and stayed lying in bed. I was still drowsy and let my thoughts and imaginations ramp up into a full dream-like state while I was still semi-conscious. These dreams are usually third person and my thoughts and emotions will influence the action in uncertain ways. An example is how in this dream, when I got mad that they didn’t help the mailman they talk about him walking away instead of actually doing what I wanted and helping him.

The fact that I’m watching the news in this dream is a little odd since I don’t watch the news (not having cable makes it hard). I do get little highlights whenever I hear people mention missing airplanes and what not, but I never really follow these up. This explains my thoughts about recent revolutions since those are something that I often hear about. so from my perspective it seems like they're happening all the time. I assume that there haven’t been any more revolutions that normal recently, but my thoughts about increased communications encouraging the creation of democracies is a real thing.

Weather reports are something I definitely don’t watch since I believe that looking out the window is all the weather information I typically need. It’s not like I change how I dress depending on the forecast or anything. If anything real crazy is on the way I usually hear about it through the grapevine anyway. That’s how I learned about our blizzard last week, which is probably what got me thinking about intense weather phenomena.

It's also apparent that I support decent ethics in the face of scientific discovery, so that's cool.

Auguries

If you see a giant spinning flower coming at you, RUN. It could melt your face.

Ignoring NASA

Dream

My immediate family and I all work for NASA and my mother and sister are about to leave on a mission. They will be travelling around at relativistic speeds, so for an observer on Earth they won’t be back for at least 100 years. We are discussing the mission with some random crew member as the ship is being loaded, but the conversation somehow pertains to a book about our current actions. I haven’t read this far in the book yet so I’m trying to follow along. They inform me that I’m going to stow away on the ship against the wishes of NASA. The crew will be in stasis for most of the trip so my presence won’t cause a supply problem (I got worried about this mid-dream). I also have my own stasis chamber that I personally built. We learn that NASA is threatening further missions if I join this one. They will delay the next mission for five years and will institute even harsher punishments for future stowaways. We don’t really care and now my dad has decided to join the mission as well. NASA threatens to take away the electron from our family crest (pictured below) if we proceed with the plan, and we all think that they are being completely unreasonable about trying to split up our family.

Analysis

I’ve always wanted to work for NASA, but I hope they aren’t such jerks in real life. All their threats were pretty hollow though, since it’s hard to punish someone who won’t be around for the next 100 years.

The part where my own future was being told to me from a book was pretty bizarre. I was being informed of decisions like I had already made them and I just followed along. I guess this is somewhat similar to many of my dealings with my family. When we gets together I’m just informed of it and go along. I don’t make any real decision to participate and just do what's expected of me. I’m not saying that I don’t like seeing my family, but it does bother me a little how passive I am about it.

Auguries

NASA threatened to take away our electron, which is something that represents negativity. My family or I might lose something negative, possibly through science.

Criminals and Car Washes

Dream

Mark ‘Marky  Mark’ Wahlberg is a criminal, and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is a law enforcement officer. The dream starts just after they've had a battle of some sort and have now both retreated to their respective bases to recover. Jeremy ‘Doesn’t have a Nickname” Piven is Wahlberg’s senior accomplice, or crime mentor, or whatever. Anyway, he was captured and Wahlberg is worried that further pursuit is coming for him. Then he remembers that it's the day when the fire department washes there vehicles, so he doesn’t have to worry (the firefighters enforce the law in a sort of Fahrenheit 451 sort of way). Cut to the fire station were a raucous bikini carwash is in progress. It would seem that the fireman take there wash day very seriously and invite all the local attractive/exhibitionist women over to help (or maybe they were hookers, it’s not really clear). There is plenty of water getting thrown around, but most of it is getting on the women and not the fire engine.  The chief and some other senior officers are in a hot tub and their women are topless, or possibly even naked. You don’t see anything explicit though since two of the women are low enough in the water that it obscures their chests and the third is sitting in a guy’s lap and he is cupping her breasts (still probably enough for a PG-13 though). While this is going on an agent from internal affairs arrives with a troll enforcer (as in a full on fantasy troll: massive ugly dude with a large club). When the chief notices that internal affairs has arrived he starts to make a fuss, but the agent coolly informs him that he doesn’t have to worry, implying that he has already lost his job. The agent starts talking to one of the senior fire fighters about Mark Wahlberg. Apparently Wahlberg and Piven are ID Forgers. The ID’s are meant to allow them to pass at a younger age so that they can compete in the Hunger Games (what their motive is I couldn’t tell you). All young people are required to report to the fire station for volunteer duty, and a good way to check the validity of an ID is to see if it shows up in the fire departments records. Piven was caught this way, but two weeks ago Wahlberg had gotten into the records somehow. The agent accuses the firemen of registering him without sufficiently checking his ID, and orders the troll to attack. Suddenly the troll is at least two stories tall and is attempting to smash the firemen with its club while they scramble to avoid the blows. The firemen try to hide from the enormous troll and that is where the dream ends.

Analysis

As a movie idea, I see a lot of problems with this idea. For one, there is a startling lack of focus. Where was Johnson during all this? What was being done to Piven? What is a troll doing in a dystopian future movie? I guess the car wash scene is showing that the firefighters are incompetent, but I don’t see how that justifies the internal affairs agent killing them. Is the agent our true antagonist in the movie, and if so, are Wahlberg and Johnson eventually going to team up to take him down? I just can’t tell where this is going.

Auguries

Bikini car washes seem like fun, but they will end in tragedy.   

Stealing Statues

Dream

My family and I are at a rebuilt coliseum watching some mock-gladiatorial games. My Aunt Libby points out one of the nearby statues and says she doesn’t like it. The statue is a Roman style bust, but the head has a partially collapsed wall built around it and the plinth is extra broad to accommodate this. My “Uncle” (he wasn’t actually married into the family) Rob steps up to refute her and says that the statue is well built, strong, defensible, and hard to see into. As he speaks you can hear his increasing regard and I realize that he sees this statue as a sort of ideal man. Later, I’m in a cave near where the family is staying. While I’m in the cave my mother’s cat Oprah arrives. There's a rabbit behind her and the rabbit is towing the statue from earlier. This is done without rope or anything, so the statue is just sliding along behind the rabbit as if by magic. Then another cat and rabbit pair comes into the cave and stash another artifact. I don’t recognize the other cat but it starts facing off against Oprah. Oprah is able to scare it off but as it leaves it takes the statue with it (or it’s rabbit does?), and I don’t see which direction they escape to. My family shows up and Rob asks where his statue is. I tell him that another cat came and stole it. I’m see the cat in question skulking in some nearby bushes and point it out. My Uncle Boone says that he'll follow the cat and track it to where it hid our statue.

Analysis

The statue, and my uncle’s description of it, is what my culture seems to believes the ideal man to be. Men should be strong, unemotional, and capable of defending themselves. Basically, we are supposed to build a wall around ourselves, and the fact that the one on the statue is partially collapsed implies that we’re under attack. The whole idea of Roman busts implies heroic achievements, which is another ideal we're supposed to meet. I have mixed feelings about these standards. The strength and self-sufficiency is something that I admire, but I don’t support the denial of emotions or focus on accomplishments. Being in control of your emotions is okay, but pretending they don’t exist, especially around other people, doesn’t seem healthy. Achieving hero status and settling for nothing short of unanimous approval from our peers seems like an unrealistic goal. 

Auguries

Cats are a lot smarter than we know and rabbits are magical. We should all be worried if they ever team up.   

Educational Videos

So, I took a break from writing these but we're back now. These posts take more time to do than I would like, but I still have a desire to blog my dreams for whatever reason. I guess I'll just going to pick and choose the "good" ones and only do write-ups on them for a while. It seems like a biased approach, but I just don't want these to feel like a chore. Anyway, on with the show.

Dream

I’m in a Geotechnical Engineering class being taught by Captain Sisko (of Star Trek DS9). We have a guest speaker in who is showing us some videos. The first video is supposed to have something to do with hydraulic pressure (which isn’t very Geotech, but whatever), and we lead up to it with some discussion about what would happen if the dam in Pierre (the town that I live in) broke. I do some thinking about if my apartment was about to get washed away and what I would take with me if I evacuated. We watch the video and it consists of the two Jedi from Star Wars Episode One riding a raft through a huge pipe. They are basically falling straight down and they mention that they are already going faster than the speed of sound (apparently the pipe is pressured in a way to get around terminal velocity). An enormous Crow T. Robot head is drifting through the water underneath the raft and when the pipe narrows it gets jammed behind them and blocks the flow of water. The water builds up pressure behind Crow’s head and this is supposed to be analogous to a dam somehow(?). The water eventually burst explosively past the blockage, but the Jedi have fallen so far ahead that it will never catch them, and I fail to understand the point of the video. I want to make a witty comment about how crazy it was so I turn to the people sitting behind me. I don’t know them very well so I’m kind of nervous about talking with them. When I start to make my comment someone else starts talking so I stop halfway though. A little later I get a change to tell it again but the joke doesn’t land. I feel like a jerk for putting so much effort into a bad joke and I hope no one realizes it’s the same thing I was trying to say earlier. Nick (a friend from college) starts passing out engineering paper to everyone (engineering paper is great, just FYI). Earlier the teacher had asked him to retrieve a few reams from the storage room so that everyone could get five or ten sheets. While I’m paying attention to Nick and feeling guilty about bad jokes, Rueben (who isn’t mugging me) asks a question pertaining to the specific way that we need to be formatting our notes on the videos. I realize that we are supposed to be taking notes to turn in at the end of class for a grade, but I have no idea how to do them. Luckily I have a copy of Nick’s notes that he put on my desk as he was passing out the paper, so I start to copy his formatting. The guest speaker notices me furiously copying. She seems mostly concerned and assures me that we have plenty of time and that I don’t need to rush. I thank her and tell her that it’s fine. Then Sisko notices me copying and thinks that I’m cheating. I tell him that I just need to copy the formatting and that I can take my own notes. He says that I should have just asked him how to format them. I agree that this idea probably would have been a better solution. The next video we are going to watch will be about Liquid Limit (LL), Plastic Limits (PL), and Plasticity Index (PI) for soil classification. For some reason this video is going to be projected on the opposite wall of the room as the last video. Before we start watching, the guest speaker asks if we know what LL, PL, and PI mean. I have a good answer ready but she picks someone else. Their answer is terrible and you can tell that they really don’t know what the terms mean and are just trying to bluff their way through it. I get mad because I can’t understand why you would try to answer a question when you didn’t really know the answer and imagine that they're making us all look dumb in front of the guest speaker. Sadly, the dream ends before I get to watch the second video.

Analysis

Science fiction references a plenty! I got Star Trek, Star Wars, and Mystery Science Theater 3000 all in the same dream. I was starting to feel guilty that TNG had made a few appearances in my dreams but DS9 hadn’t made any (since I’ve come to regard DS9 as a better show), but now I feel better. It’s funny that I put some Phantom Menace in. Especially a reference from the scene where they take a sub through the center of the earth. That is one of my least favorite scenes in a movie that has a lot of competition for least favorite scenes. I haven’t watched that movie in a while but seriously. A watery planet core makes no sense geologically; and how could that possibly be the fastest way to travel on a planet that is capable of space flight? If the Gungan (SP? but I don’t care) city was on the opposite side of the planet from the human capital then how did they get their (terrible) army there so fast when none of the vehicles moved faster than walking pace. At least Crow (or his head anyway) made an appearance to redeem things. He is my favorite character on my favorite show, so maybe the Jedi were just there for contrast.

There is some good example of my social awkwardness on display. The deal with the witty comment getting interrupted and then not working out has happened to me before. This is why I often have trouble approaching new people. My jokes generally have a high level of intellectual depth and often require the hearers to understand my personality so they can tell when I’m being facetious. It's terrible when I say something ridiculous and people take it seriously and don’t see the joke. You can’t really blame them when this is coming from someone who they may have never heard speak about anything but math problems before. The note copying event also matches past events of mine. I’ll often take a rougher path to get information that I could just ask someone for. I feel bad about asking for something that I could have gotten had I just paid attention. I don’t what to bother anyone for a problem that is totally my responsibility. The situation also carries some of that classic fear of an assignment that you didn't know what due until it's too late.

I was a real jerk about answering questions in school. People probably learn better if they get a chance to try to answer questions themselves, even if they aren’t right. Having me answer everything for them really doesn’t help anyone.

Auguries

I sure hope the dam isn’t going to break.

Garbage Run

Dream

My mother and I are going to throw away my old football gear. We each grab an armful and start out at a jog for the nearest dumpster. By nearest, I mean a few blocks away. We go past the junior high and decide to cut through the grounds to save time. The football teams are having practice but we just run past like we didn’t notice. The practices are all arranged like they were in real life, with the two seventh grade teams practicing on the upper field and the eighth and ninth grade teams practicing on the game field. It is the point in the season where they've just started to wear pads. The seventh grade kids haven’t had enough practices yet, but eighth grade is getting them for the first time and ninth has had them for a few days (you had to attend something like ten practices before you could wear pads and the higher grades always started practice sooner). When we get to the ninth grade team I notice that Taylor is now the coach (he was on my football team and his dad used to be the coach). He recognizes me and calls for another classmate of ours to come over, but my mom and I just jog right past him. We vault the fence that runs around the field area and start heading for the dumpster that is apparently next to the school. After dropping down a small retaining wall we come to a second higher wall. Along the one are standing sheets of plywood arranged like a line of dominoes. I put my hands on either side of a sheet and slide down it. At this point I notice that Leonard Nimoy is narrating. He’s talking about the nature of human beings or something. Suddenly I’m being attacked (possibly by my mother) and I get knocked through one of the plywood sheets. My body is lying mangled on the broken plywood with my stomach arched and my four limbs tucked underneath. Leonard says something about how the human body is like that of a scorpion.

Analysis

I was recently reminiscing about the first practice with pads during my waking hours, so that probably inspired this dream. It was always the first practice were everything we did wasn’t just physical conditioning which was nice, but we also spent the entire day doing the most hard hitting drills we had which was always fun. It was also the practice were whatever girl had joined the football team that year stopped showing up.

Leonard Nimoy is stupendous and I wish he would narrate all my dreams. I don’t even mind if it’s really bizarre.

I’ve been doing some research into yoga, so that is probably the source of the weird body position.  

Auguries

Never throw away perfectly good football pads when you could turn them into sweet dystopian future armor. Also be on your guard whenever near a wall that is convenient for someone to kick you through.  

Risqué Research

Dream

I travel down to a spring break, or Mardi Gras, or whatever to perform some research on sexual suggestibility. My hypothesis is that you can easily get women to perform sexual displays (get topless, make out with each other, etc.) if you point a camera at them. Basically, the Girls Gone Wild Theory. I start out as a stage show where some woman is performing nude. Instead of filming her I spend the whole time zooming in on children in the crowd. They all appear to be in various forms of distress. The distress is more often than not caused by their parents or the people around them than what is happening on the stage. Later, I find some women and invite them to a party at my parent’s house (my parents are away at the time). Two women show up and they bring two guys with them (I’m going to assume they brought some beer or something as well). We all hang out for a while but everyone is quickly bored. My study is completely forgotten at this point as I’m in over my head and have lost control of the situation. They decide that we should get some cocaine. The term used was something like “special cough drops” which I recognized to mean cocaine, but pretended that I didn’t actually know what it is. I’m given the number of a drug dealer, and when I talk to him on the phone he gives me convoluted directions on where to go to pick up the “special cough drops”. I have no intention of going to get the drugs and I figure that I can use the confusing directions to claim that I got lost trying to find them. As a good host, I set everyone up to watch some TV shows with my Netflix account while I’m gone. I also give explicit instruction not to invite anyone else over while I’m out of the house, but I really don’t trust these to be followed. As I leave I get a pang of guilt that they are seeing the next episode on my Netflix queue before I will and wish I could stay.

Analysis

The primary inspiration at work here is my real life confusion with why girls put on sexual displays. I never really partied in school (if that wasn’t obvious), but I always heard stories of girls making out with each other or flashing their breasts. There is also the whole phenomenon of Girls Gone Wild, Wet T-Shirt Contests, and such that is fairly established. The only explanation I can think of is that these displays are done to get attention, but the kind of attention that they draw don’t seem all that desirable. Any consideration you gain will probably just be exploitative and shallow. Developing a sense of humor or an interesting intellect seems like a much better means of getting attention. That my personal opinion anyway.

The distressed children might be a comment on how trying to shelter children from all things sexual can do more harm than good. Setting something up as forbidden often just encourages its pursuit, and trying to keep anyone ignorant, regardless of the subject, is not something that I can really support.

Other stuff going on in this dream is me feigning ignorance of drugs and exploiting my poor ability to navigate complex urban environments to protect myself from drug use. This has never actually happened, but it's very plausible I would behave this way in a real situation. As someone who doesn’t even like the way alcohol effects people’s behavior, cocaine is way beyond what I’m willing to try or want to be around. I’m also truly covetous of my Netflix queue and always look forward to watching the next episode in whatever series I’m currently viewing.

Auguries

Forget going to parties. They only make me uncomfortable. 

Visiting Arizona

Dream

I’m going down to Arizona to see some family. Apparently, my route takes me through some caves. Someone has told me (possibly my Aunt Joni) that in these caves is a special type of rock that can add a nice flavor to chewing gum (huh?), so I stop to check this out. The mineral in question is a kind of marbled blue stone that makes up one wall of the cave. I clean off a section of wall (rub any loose dirt off anyway), and stick a piece of lightly chewed gum to it. The flavor takes a while to soak in so I'll have to come back for the gum later. I make my way through the rest of the cave and find an old truck parked at the exit. It is a two door junker, and has right hand drive. I get in and start heading down some country roads to get to meet up with my relatives. I’m having a real hard time driving the truck. Being on the wrong side is throwing me off, and I’m having a hard time hitting the pedals. They seem to be set up for use with the left foot, and even when I can find them the breaks are fairly worthless (bad breaks seem to be a common occurrence in my dreams). I hear the approaching sirens of an ambulance but struggle to pull over. I end up driving on the shoulder and just coast to slow down since I can’t get the breaks to work. A second ambulance passes me and the process is repeated. I eventually meet up with my cousin Harrison (a younger cousin) and my uncle Loose (his actual name is Roger, but Loose is much more fitting). I ditch my old truck and Loose drives us into Phoenix. He complains about the traffic and how long it takes to drive through town. He makes a comment that if you’re going to attempt the trip you should bring a change of clothes because it'll take more than a day. The 20 mile trip does end up taking us into the night so we eventually stop driving. We walk downtown and all of the sidewalks are packed with people. Loose tells Harrison to stay put while he and I continue, but Harrison doesn’t comply (I agree with him since it was so crowded that we would never be able to find him again). We end up going into a bar and Loose offer to get us both sodas (I don’t drink and Harrison is underage). He is given a receipt for the drinks and he puts it into his pocket with an exaggerated gesture and say “for my records” in a sarcastic manner.

Analysis

I do have family that lives in Arizona during the winter, so that’s a thing. I’ve never heard of rocks that could add flavor to gum (it would be hilariously stupendous if real), and have never had to pilot a right hand drive vehicle.

Bad breaks seem to show up in my dreams after I drive on snow, and are probably just symptoms of the anxiety that this can produce. Losing control of a fast moving vehicle is not something that outright terrifies me, but I don’t relish the thought either. Pulling over for ambulances is another driving related uneasiness of mine, since I always worry that I won’t get out of the way fast enough.

I live in a part of the country where traffic jams don’t really exist, so I’m not sure where that part of the dream comes from. It merged right into the busy sidewalks which are another thing I’ve never experienced. As a big fan of personal space, I can’t say that I ever want to.

The attempt to get Harrison to stop and wait for us is unfathomable to me, both in the dream and out. It may have been because he didn’t want to take him into the bar, but no one seemed to mind when we got there. The sodas seemed to imply that neither Harrison nor I were very good drinking partners, but I liked the joke about the receipt. I’m pretty sure that a purchase should have to be over $20 to involve a receipt, and even then I rarely see the point.

Auguries

Always carry a change of clothes. Also gum.

Escaping Airports

Dream

I won a guest appearance on Man vs.Wild with Bear Grylls. The environment we are surviving is an airport, specifically how to get out of an airport during a disaster. There is some stuff about how to get through security, but the thing he is actually showing me in the dream is how to put on a hazmat suit while running. First he takes his suit out of the bag (you should never go anywhere without your packaged hazmat suit) and puts the hood over his head. He is then securing the hood to his head with the draw strings, so that the suit will stay on while leaving his arms free. The way he ties the draw strings is very involved, since he is doing it without ever releasing his grip on them. During this entire thing we are running through a busy airport. Bear’s explanations are always deadly serious and intense but everyone keeps looking at us like we’re crazy and I’m having a hard time not breaking into laughter. I notice Nathan (a friend from high school) in the crowd and I give him a shrug to show that I really don’t know what to make of this situation. Bear is going on and on about how people might be trying to get us and they could have biological weapons, and all I can do is smile and nod. He says “I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff” and I think to myself “yeah, I can kind of tell.”

Analysis

I haven’t seen an episode of Man vs. Wild in a long time, but I like the twist my dream put on the show. First, having an unskilled guest on is nice because it limits the survival techniques to things that normal people can actually do (free climbing a sheer cliff isn’t something the average lost hiker is willing to attempt). I also like the idea of surviving in urban situations. To get lost in the jungle you usually have to deliberately go to the jungle, but you never know when you might be in the middle of an urban disaster. The main problem with this, which is shown pretty well in the dream, is that it's hard to actually create the disaster so that you can survive it. We just went to an actual operating airport and pretended like a disaster was happening and this ended up looking farcical.

The dream also shows the problem I have with being serious. I like to maintain a carefree attitude and rarely get work up over anything. A complete sincerity demeanor always appears absurd to me and if I ever behave this way you can be confident that I’m doing it facetiously. It’s more fun to see the humor in everything.

Auguries

I need to start carrying a hazmat suit.

Questionable Similes

Dream

Barkley and I are on a baseball team. I don’t know anyone else we who shows up, and many of them don’t seem to know how to play. Our team is up to bat first and I lead off. I’m able to hit a double. Barkley bats next and hits me home. There is one girl and one guy on the team who are decent players so we put them next in the order. After Barkley gets to home we start making sure everyone else on the team understands the basic mechanics of the game. The girl who can play becomes a sort of coaching assistant, and we have her play catch with a boy who's struggling. He keeps throwing the ball underhand and when we tell him to throw it overhand he says he's worried that she won’t be able to catch a ball with a horizontal trajectory. Barkley tried to show him how to throw, but the kid is left handed and there's an awkward moment when he tried to give his glove to Barkley. Barkley ends up bare hand catching the throw (like a champion), and then demonstrates how to throw the ball. Our assistant is fully capable of catching it. Barkley explains that it's hard to throw very far underhanded since the ball has to travel such a large arc. The boy eventually understands and relates that the extra distance in an underhand throw is like if you had a club, but you used most of the space in the building for closets instead of dance floor. Barkley and I share a look expressing that we agree that the simile does explain the situation, but it isn’t one that we would have chosen. The dream skips to the end of the game and everyone is leaving. The semi-skilled girl and guy from our team are alone in the dugout and the guy introduces himself as Jeek. He does this in a way obviously intended to begin further relations with the girl. He delivers his name with a cool confidence that shows he understands how weird it is, but that it doesn’t bother him. She blows him off as a dork and walks away. When she walks past me I try to defend Jeek and ask why she rebuffed him. She says “Any girl that is interested in him would have to be tighter than Mt. Everest.” I piece this together to mean that Mt. Everest is some sort of screw to be turned, and the tightness on the girl implies virginity brought on by dorkiness.

Analysis

This whole setup is reminiscent of my curling experiences. Attendance to curling usually consists of a few regulars, who show up every week, and then a mix of people who are new to the game or have only been there once or twice before. It is a sort of unspoken responsibility of those of us who are considered “good” at the game to show everyone else how to play. Luckily curling is a simple game (at least at our level of play), and it’s still interesting even when many of the people playing aren’t very skilled. I don’t think the same could really be said of baseball, but this was a dream after all and it never really showed how our new players ended up performing. 

Jeek getting shot down is related to the annoyance I feel for people who completely dismiss things due to some perceived trait. This applies to people who dislike all video games on principle (although they often play games like Angry Birds or the like themselves, which are as much video games as any other, just not as sophisticated); those who won’t watch any movie more than 20 years old, since they assume it will be boring; and especially anybody who avoids something that has been labeled as nerdy, regardless of any other merits. The worst part is that the reasons for dismissing these things seems to be completely arbitrary. I mean, a nerdy label is usually based on a passionate fan base (there can also be an intellectual or esoteric aspect, but not necessarily), which only seems to indicate quality.  This is not to say that I’m not guilty of this offense (I won’t watch Johnny Depp movies for reasons that are far from justifiable).

Auguries

I’m going to take this as a sign that no matter how good I am at curling, it’s not going to impress any women.

Break Away Blocker

Dream

I’m playing football in junior high. The game consists of my team having one break away play after another. I’m keep running with the ball carriers in case anyone tries to tackle them, but the other team is usually far behind. This happens a few times with different players scoring the touchdown (one of them Eric who was one of the fasted kids in the state, but I was somehow keeping up with him). After we get to the end zone I always hit them on the shoulder pads and shouted congratulations. Strangely, the field we're playing in is actually three fields in a U shape, with a steel building in the middle. The final break away play that I remember had Brooks running the ball (he was always a little faster than me in school), and Ryan was running as a blocker with me. We are way out ahead of anyone chasing us, so we aren’t running at full speed. I periodically look back and call out the distance of the nearest pursuer is getting, which is never closer than 30 yards. After scoring we walk through the building to get back to our team since they're on the other side of the U. The opposing coach is standing in the overhead doorway of the building, and I hear him complain about how badly they are losing.

Analysis

When I played football I always enjoyed running with the breakaway plays. It was something I did just because I could. I was one of the faster kids on the team, but I couldn’t catch, so I ended up playing on the line. The most exciting thing I could do on offense was to make a block to ensure a touchdown, so that's what I always tried to do. During break away plays it seemed like most people would just acknowledge that they are out of the action and stop trying, but I always ran to catch up. This usually resulted in the ball carrier and I running by ourselves but I always hoped something exciting would happen. Nobody ever pulled a hamstring and fumbled the balls so that I would have to run it in, and there was never a world champion sprinter on the other team that I had to slow down, but I was always ready. In sports, I always have the most fun when I'm doing something. Why would I stand around for half the play when I could be sprinting down field? If I'm playing center field and there is a grounder to the pitcher, I still run to the infield in case of an overthrow or anything like that. I don't see the point of just relaxing in the outfield and watching the play happen without trying to be a part of it. Back to break away plays in football, I also enjoyed getting into the end zone on scoring plays. I’m not certain if I was trying to share some of the glory or make it look like I was helping, but I always wanted to be there.

Auguries

Following in the footsteps of others will lead to success, but we may need to travel farther than normal. 

Parking Lot Pursuit

Dream

I’m attending college, but it’s taking place in my old elementary school building, and all the people are from high school (basically all of my school experiences mixed together). It starts in Mr. Hladky’s P.E. class, and we are playing softball. Kirk (twin #1) and I are captains, and I pick Ryan (close friend) and Adam (twin #2) to be on my team. Kirk picks a team with most of the traditionally athletic kids on it, but my team still ends up winning. Later we are finished with class for the day and Kirk and I are discussing our plans for the future. It is near the end of the school year and we are also close to graduating. Kirk says that he only needs to take two P.E. classes next semester to graduate, and I comment on how easy that is going to be. We somehow find ourselves in Mr. Gunderson’s math class. Mr. Gunderson is sitting at a desk in the middle of the room and is tossing a ball into the air and hitting it with bat. Students are scattered around the room working and the ball is flying over their heads and bouncing off walls but they don’t seem bothered. I catch the ball and refuse to give it back to Mr. Gunderson in a cheeky manner. Trisha is there (a girl I had a massive crush on in high school) but I’m too awkward to acknowledge her. I leave Kirk there and head for the exit. I realize that I still have Mr. Gunderson’s ball, so I go back into his class and set it on Kirk's desk. Back in the hallway I find Nathan, Brad, and others (high school acquaintances) walking in a group. I walk with them and just before exiting the building they all break into a run. I do the same, but soon realize that they are running from another group of kids (which includes Chase, who had one of the strongest personalities in school) and by joining them I have become guilty by association. When I blow through the doors I start heading for my truck which is parked fairly close to the building. In doing this I separate myself from the other kids, who run to the far end of the lot. The pursuing kids all follow me, likely due to some predatory instinct to single out your prey. I jump in my truck and quickly start the engine, but the vehicle is already surrounded. They are banging on the sides and rocking the vehicle back and forth (I don’t feel physically threatened and only think they are trying to embarrass me), but I’m able to pull out and start driving through the parking lot. I drive at a speed much too high for how many people are present and for some reason the speed increases my turning radius by a ridiculous amount. My tires are squealing while I struggle to make it around the turns in the lot, but I have to stop before I hit some parked cars. The person in charge of parking tickets is standing before me. He stares me down and shakes his head at my reckless driving, and I worry that the kids chasing me are going to catch up while I’m stopped.

Analysis

I’ve always dismissed the appearances of Kirk and Adam in these dreams as just people I used to know, but the frequency that these identical twins are appearing hints at deeper meaning. These two had nearly opposite personalities while having very similar physical appearances. This indicates a certain duality of personality and the strength of outside influences on how a person behaves. I can’t put anything specific to this idea but I think there’s something to it. Softball makes another appearance, which isn’t surprising. It is my favorite sport, I took a softball class in college, and I was the captain of a rec-league team for a couple years. Trisha is probably here as a bridge between softball and math class since I had memorable interactions with her in both those settings (she was on my team one year, and we used to play cards instead of doing math work). Mr. Gunderson was a good target for my attitude of senioritis. As a senior I assumed a very cocky and cavalier attitude, and my close relationship with Mr. Gunderson only increased this behavior. I had a feeling that I had learned everything that the school had to offer and this gave me plenty of confidence. The chase scene at the end of the dream shows my feelings about joining groups. When you associate yourself with people you can become answerable for their actions, even if those actions took place before you joined them. This is why I don’t like joining clubs or organizations. I want people to judge me solely on my own behavior and not on some preconceptions for a group I belong to.

Auguries

Based on the softball game, an underdog will come out on top.

Author's Note: We've had a format change to reduce redundancy, unneeded information, and lame puns. 

Scavenger Hunt and Cupcakes

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-20

Dream

Barkley, Anna, Kyle, Shane, and I are engaged in some sort of scavenger hunt. We have maps or list and are looking for various items that were hidden by our parents. The environment is all flat surfaces and right angles made of some white stone. There are plateaus, pillars, ditches, ledges, and overhangs in abundance. It becomes outrageously windy, to the point where it's hard to stand. Kyle and Shane have been  searching together but are in danger from the wind. Kyle is about to be blown away, but Shane is pinned down and can’t help. I’m heavier than Kyle, so I can slowly walk over and pull him to a place where he can get out of the wind. I have figured out where two of the hidden treasures are and make a deal with Barkley. We will each go find one item each and then split both between us. I need to leap over a gap in a bridge that crosses a chasm to reach some large double doors set into a cliff wall. Inside is the item from Kyle’s family, which turns out to be some banana bread. I know that Barkley succeeds in getting his item without actually seeing him, and I also know that Anna found the one from my family. We had possibly intended this beforehand, and may have given her a tip on where to find it. I see Kyle pole vault up onto a plateau and I do likewise. On the plateau, everyone is meeting at some kitchens. The teachers are there and the hunt is apparently over. Now everyone is going to make cupcakes. My aunt Libby is running things and the cupcakes are for my grandma. All the kids are supposed to work for two minutes apiece, and I convince Barkley to take the first shift with me. I state that the beginning is the easiest part, but I still worry that everyone will judge me for being too eager (making cupcakes isn’t the most manly or impressive act I guess).

Context Explanations

Barkley, Anna, Kyle, and Shane were all friends of mine from grade school. My aunt Libby and my grandma are both accomplished bakers.

Plot Holes

The scavenger hunt seemed sort of dangerous for unsupervised children. I also don’t think that I was any heavier than Kyle, considering that he was taller than me.

Erection?

Boxily Yes

Analysis

The only thing that I’m real sure about is that the banana bread is in there because one of my house mates gave me a loaf of same the other day. The setting was sort of like the map Hang ‘Em High in the original Halo game, but whiter and a lot more random. Nothing else in the dream has any clear meaning for me. The hunt could suggest that I want to find something, possibly tied to family or my elders. Saving Kyle from the wind may mean that I want to help someone. The cupcakes might show that I want to do something, but am afraid of what people will think. All these could just as easily be semi-random creations of my sub conscious.

Auguries

I’ll succeed in my goals with the help of others, and shouldn’t be afraid to help those who need it.

Part of the Show

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-19

Dream

I wake up on the floor after some partying (I may or may not have passed out). While I was unconscious, my hand has been propped up and a microphone was placed in it. Chippy D, an arena rocker, is singing into this microphone during his performance. I start making jokes with a nearby groupie about how my arm has been turned into a microphone stand. Chippy spits while he is singing, and when some hits my arm the women comments on this with faux-outrage. He eventually takes the microphone back and I sarcastically thank him for letting me hold it. The groupie then starts making advances towards me. I’m being coy about this, but am happy about it.

Context Explanations

I was convinced that Chippy D was an actual singer from a rock band when I woke up, but upon later reflection I know this isn’t the case.

Plot Holes

I was actually engaging in passable flirting with a woman, and it was effective.

Erection?

Rockingly Yes

Analysis

I must say that using a passed out audience member for a microphone stand is a very metal move. When I pointed out the plot hole, the fact that I was able to flirt with the groupie wasn’t the improbable part. If I have some sort of external stimulus that I can comment on, I’m typically capable of conversation with strangers. These strangers can even be female. Sports are usually my go to for this purpose, but being utilized in a rock show could also work. The improbable part was that it got a non-plutonic response. I can make jokes and exchange sarcastic banter, but I can’t do the more lascivious type of flirting. What I do can hardly be called flirting I guess, since usually only leads to friendships, if anything. I also kind of got the feeling that the girl was only interested in me due to a perceived connection between me and Chippy D, so there’s that.

Auguries

Don’t pass out near an active hair metal band.  

Late to Work at the Flower Factory

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-18

Dream

I work at some sort of flower distribution business. We cut and arrange flowers in a sort of factory anyhow. I’m walking to work in the morning, and the weather is overcast and somewhat hazy. There are plenty of other people out walking and we are all converging at the bridge over the river. I stop at the pedestrian traffic jam formed by this bottleneck and the person in front of me turns around. He starts insisting that I take out some sort of loan from him. This guy is clearly shady and it looks like he has some henchman in the crowd. I refuse his persistent requests and get so uncomfortable that I leave the sidewalk and start walking away through the grass. It's very muddy and slippery and I have to work just to keep from falling down. I meet my friend Ryan, who also works at the flower factory. We walk to work together and spend some time outside cleaning our shoes before we go inside. When we finally enter we are late for work. A broadcast system announces that two of the workers who were supposed to be stationed at the gift shop haven’t arrived yet, so that department is understaffed. Ryan and I understand that the two missing workers are us, and realize that we are needed in the gift shop. The factory works on some sort of daily work rotation that is unannounced ahead of time. Before we enter the shop we make two new flower displays as a sort of excuse for what we were doing and why we are late. When we walk in the gift shop we find the two women who will be working with us (because apparently four people are needed to run this place). The gift shop consists of various fancy displays of flowers and other decorations scattered around the room on shelves and plinths. The women, one of whom is Alaina, tell us that nobody has been in yet so it doesn’t really matter that we were late. Ryan and I add our newly created bouquets to the other displays. Mine is a gift specifically for the parents of newborn twins. It consists of a tiny leather couch and some water balloons. The balloons have happy messages written on them. The big one in the middle say “We Wanted Twins and We Got Twins”, and a smaller balloon say “Two Wins” (as a sort of pun on the word twins). The shelf I set the couch on isn’t very stable and the balloons keep rolling off. After trying to keep the balloons stationary for a while, one of them develops a hole and starts leaking water. I start to panic and attempt to pinch the hole shut, but all my efforts just make the problem worse. Since the tiny couch is leather I’m making a big deal about getting it wet. My fellow workers tell me just to pop the balloon but I keep insisting that I can’t do that on the leather couch. The situation is getting increasingly out of hand and now water is spraying all over the place and not just on the couch. I try to direct the stream of water into my mouth as a way of containing it, but I only manage to get myself soaking wet. I pick up the balloon and start running for the bathroom. The water finally stops flowing right at the entrance to the bathroom, and I collapse from a combination of frayed nerves and a sense of defeat. At that moment some customers arrive at the gift shop. The others try to distract them as I dejectedly drag myself into the bathroom to hide. I hear the customers make and inquiry about why there is water everywhere and one of my female coworkers pokes her head into the bathroom to check on me. I’m lying curled up on the floor, broken and defeated.

Context Explanations

Ryan and Alaina are friends of mine from high school.

Plot Holes

That was an outrageous amount of water to be coming out of one balloon.

Erection?

Despondently Yes

Analysis

This dream might seem very downbeat, but it was actually played with a more comedic tone. It was reminiscent of an I Love Lucy sketch, where a seemingly small problem steadily escalates to absurd levels. My actions at the end were a deliberate overstatement of my emotions. Exaggerating my feelings was a way of getting in on the joke. Less reaction would show that my pride had actually been hurt, and trying to pretend it was a big deal would be a sign that my self-esteem needed to be shielded from damage. By playing up the situation I acknowledge that it was funny, and excepted that my behavior had been humorous if not taken seriously. The part with the unrelenting usurer was a combination of my fear of confrontation with strangers and my dislike for being in debt. I think the whole idea of the flower factory grew from hearing someone say they bought a cooking spice from a flower shop, and now my understandings of the limits of that business have been thrown into question.

Auguries

We had mud on shoes and water on a leather couch. This speaks of something fancy of expensive being dirtied or damaged. 

Flipping Turtles and Shooting Coyotes

Date Dreamed: 2014-02-16

Dream

These are actually two separate dreams, but I’m only doing one write up since they are both so short. The first dream was about my sister's turtle. His name was Patches, and we were letting him roam around the vegetable garden. I ask what he’s doing and my sister says “He is clipping the asperagus”, but when I look, I see him flipped over onto his back. I place him back on his feet and he starts moving in a swimming motion through the semi-muddy dirt. My sister says “He’s going to call the pile that flipped him over ‘misses’”. I guess he got put on his back by climbing a steep pile of dirt and rolled off of it, and this is somehow analogous to a wife?

A coyote show up in our yard and my dad gives me a bolt action .22 to shoot it with. I deliver a few carefully aimed shots to its head, but it is still running around the yard. The animal is suddenly a bobcat and is showing signs of dying. I keep shooting it but get worried that the barrel of my gun is going to overheat.

Context Explanations

My sister and I had some pet turtles as children, but I don’t think any were named Patches. Never been coyote hunting.

Plot Holes

I know my dad has better guns for shooting coyotes than a .22.

Erection?

Accurately Yes

Analysis

Some mixed messages about the treatment of animals. At first I’m helping one, and then I’m shooting another in the head, multiple times. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for turtles, and it is hard not to be sympathetic to a creature stuck on its back. Turtles also make great pets, as long as you’re not looking for something cuddly. On the other hand, coyotes and bobcats are not nearly as well regarded. They are considered pests in the part of the country where I live, and are often killed on site. The shooting I do in the dream was reminiscent of prairie dog hunting. This is something I’ve done with my dad before and it involves both careful aim and problems with barrels heating up; not to the point where the guns were damaged and not with .22s, but it was something we worried about for accuracy on longer shots. These dreams seem to show that I will help those who need it, but will also harm those that deserve it.

Auguries

I’ve already established that a turtle means I should stay home, but the addition of some small predators adds an element of danger. The weather isn’t very nice today so I think I’ll comply.